wrks4me's Blog

My prayers are with the family, specially the finance of that young man that was involved in the DV call that resulted the officer involved shooting.

 What could he have been thinking when he attacked the cop. Look I'm not a big supporter of men in blue, but when I do have to interact with them I show them the respect that goes with the uniform. I saw the brother on Fox and my heart goes out to him for the loss of his brother. But lets be real, what was the cops partner supposed to do the suspect was choking her partner. The cops life was in immediate danger, not just dangerous but within minutes he could be dead. So his partner instead of going balls out to protect him is supposed to use a judgment call on how to save his life? Maybe once the shock has begun to wear off, he should ask the question. Why did his brother feel the need to attack the cop in the first place. The cops obviously that the 9 month pregnant finance was actually in arms way. It's really not the cops fault how he reacted to the authority of the situation. I'm pretty sure, even though I was there that the cop didn't say. "Ok buddy, I'm here to resolve this maybe help in someway before it gets worse so go ahead I've offended you some how so attack me and try to kill me"

 Little advice, when the cops show up at your door. All of  your rights just flew at the window, because cops have way to much power. That's why I show nothing but respect no matter how bad it is. Or as much as I just want to go off on him/her. Because no matter what the out come is, they can end the story anyway they want. All they have to say is "probable cause" and no matter what they do they're justified. They might get their hands slapped a few times for making a bad choice.

I don't know the details of this poor guy that was killed. It was a domestic call, at that point just separate and deal with the cops. Don't give them any reason to lie about your attitude. Because all they have to do is speak those two magical words and the next thing you know you're cuffed, stuffed, and waiting for a judge to set you free. Remember people, you could spend anywhere from 24 hrs to 72 hrs in jail. They already know that, they already know you might even get released in a few hours. That's not why they do it, they do it only because THEY CAN. If you piss them off, they will "show" you.

Unfortunately this gentleman won't be released in 72 hrs. But no matter how much it pisses me off that cops acted like their Gods because of all the power they've been given. They are first and fore most human beings, with families, friends, and yes some of them have feelings.

Lesson for the day:  If you physically attack a cop, specially one with a partner. Expect to get get hurt, because you choke them, they will kill you if need be to save their own.

Once again, my prayers do go out to the family of the man, along with the cop and her partner whom she was defending.

My dear friend Scooch I wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you for just being you. You have no idea how much your friendship means to me. I have a good amount of friends in my life, but I could count the number of true best friends I have on one hand.

I lost one in 2000 to a brain tumor, I have one that moved to New Mexico and one that moved to Arkansas both I don't see nearly as much as I want. I have one right here in town, our kids play together. The love of my life I've known him for over 15 years, and I'm just now realizing he is my true soul mate. Last but certainly not least is YOU. God put you in my life on 2/22/07 the day my brother died we didn't actually meet until March 2007 and I've never met you in person. Yet feel like I've known you for years.

As most of our regular blogger buddies know the past month or so I've been going through an extremely rough patch in my life between my job and my ex I probably couldn't choose which one has hurt me the most, and those who know me know how bad my ex can be.

With that being said, Debbie you stuck with me brightened some of my worst days with your emails and true heart felt concern for my well being. I wasn't always good at replying or communicating with you but please know you are and will always be in my prayers. I want you to know I'm doing 100% better now, still have the drama but at least I have a little comfort knowing the court system is involved, and I have no fear of loosing my son.

In closing once again I can't thank you enough for just being you, and to God for putting you in my life.

Love you Debbie, and yes.....

WRKS4ME IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!

So fellow bloggers cover ears, hide your children and prepare for anything. Because no topic is off limit to me, and I don't hold back.

P.S. the font is large on purpose, just in case scooch didn't have her glasses on I wanted to make sure she could read it..

:)

The BB-8 fly bye really ticked me off.

The glue that holds your ability to make it threw to the end is how well your maintain your initial strategy. Along with the fact that the house guests have virtually no contact with the rest of the world.

These people go into the house knowing how to play. They're fans just like the rest of us. We all know that manipulation, back stabbing, lying, and head games are the essential tools to succeed. Not one winner in BB history made it through the entire game without one lie, or deception. The only one that I think even came close to that title would have been "Dr. Will" winner of BB-2 (fav player of all). I say that because his strategy in was to lie to everybody. He even told his fellow house guests that he would lie. That's why he ultimately won. At the end of it all they all agreed no matter hellish things he did to them, he didn't lie to them about the fact that he would lie.

So to fly over the Big Brother house revealing information to the house guests is unforgivable. If Nick had anything to do with it, I feel the producers should take legal action. You know these people had to sign confidentiality papers. If it was just a pissed of viewer, I feel he/she should be exposed and humiliated for all fans to see and participate. If legal actions are available I hope they're taken.

If this whole thing is a publicity stunt to shake up the game, it was made in very poor choice by upper management. I know the producers can do better than that, because so far this "American player" twist sucks worst than the "X-Factor" twist. On that note America please stop making him do stupid things like putting mustard on a pillow. I love humor, but come on my 8yr old could do better than that.

Behavioral science is truly fascinating. To observe human behavior and watch the different transitions they all go through. You can't imagine how much you can learn and apply in your own day to day ventures. I love watching this show, how else would a 23yr old virgin Christian boy from the south meet a vibrate street wise thirty something black mother of two, become best friends for the rest of their lives. It happened in BB-3. From what I understand Jason and Danielle are still very close. 

You tell me fellow FoxLa bloggers, was the fly bye a publicity stunt or someone out of the blue did this?

I'm not a fan of Paris Hilton. I also don't hate her. How can anyone "hate" someone they don't know?

The reason I feel she didn't get what she deserved is very simple. Nobody should be sentenced for "who" they are, instead of "what" they did wrong. She was sentenced unfairly in my opinion. I've seen habitual criminals, with worse crimes get "time served" after a few days. All because of over crowding in the jails. I can't believe I work my butt off so that my tax dollars can spend more money than I make in a year on such a hardened criminal as Paris Hilton. Yea I feel my money was spent well on this one. I will sleep much better knowing that Miss Paris Hilton is locked securely away for the unforgivable crime that she commiited.

Yes I'm being sarcastic, and no I'm not making light of her actions. They were wrong, she broke the law. You don't drink and drive, you don't drive on a suspended liscense and more importantly you should always show nothing less than the utmost respect for the judges and our courts. But what did she really do that is such a threat to our society that she deserves the sentence she was given. So she was born with a golden spoon in her mouth, and a trust fund large enough to support 2 third world countries through the next millinium. She's spoiled rotten, probably a snob who is never told "no". Blame her parents for that, not her.

Let the punishment fit the crime. That's what I was always taught. Not how to get away with punishing someone for "who" they are instead of "what" they did.

First off I would like to take a second to thank all my special blogger buddies for the support I've been recieving. I know I haven't been posting much lately, but I wanted you all to know I've been reading my blog's comments and you all are so sweet. Things have slowed down alittle, and the fear is easing up. My best friend rides with me to pick up my son, just until I can re-schedule the mediation and have the pick up drop off at the local police departments for everybody's safety. Thank you all again, ladies you know who I'm talking to. Scooch, Vanessa, Debbie, and the rest (why do I feel like singing the gilligan's island song? "and the rest, here on gilligan's island") LOL... :)

Now back to the BEST NHL team in the world.....

THE MIGHTY DUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's right ladies and gentleman the young on energetic Ducks took home the Stanley Cup!! Hasn't happened in what I think around 24-25 yrs. Something like that, yet I remember when they were just starting out as little ducklings. I met them all one beautiful morning as we flew from LA X to San Jose. Why I not only met them, my seat was flat in the middle of the whole team. I guess I don't have to tell all you duck fans out there how much fun I had on that flight. And to think just a short what 13or 14 yrs later, I'm not quite sure. They brought home the biggest cup ever. I guess those LA King fans aren't laughing at us now. As much as I admire "the great one" he never was able to lead the kings to the cup, not that he didn't deserve the cup. They don't call him "the great one" for no reason, he's the best.

So everybody let's hear it for THE MIGHTY DUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

QUACK!! QUACK!!! QUACK!!!!! QUACK!!!!!!!

How can you protect yourself when your abuser knows not to leave a mark. How do you protect yourself when your abuser starts manipulating the law. How do you protect yourself when your abuser is smarter than your protectors. How do you protect yourself when your abuser is within 5  inches of your face, and you can see in his eyes how bad he wants you dead. I can answer all those questions in two simple words, YOU CAN'T.

Now I know alot of people will start telling me about all the legal avenues that you can go through to keep yourself safe from your abuser. There's restraining orders, there's DV safe houses, there's DV programs to teach you how to defend yourself and much more. But the bottom line is this, if your abuser really wants to get to you he will. And there's not a law out there that's going to stop him/her from killing you if that's the intention.

After 2 1/2 years of rebuilding from the mental abuse that was inflicted apon me by my EX. It only took him one week to re-install all the fear that I had which promted me to run for my life in the first place. The only difference is I didn't run this time, I actually thought I would get the protection of the law, and the law enforcers. I can tell you now, that's not the case and what's so scary is that my abuser knows it too. 

In less than one week I've had the cops come to me three times, and two out of those three times my son watched. them do nothing to protect me. Why? No visible marks. Me emotionally torn down with the amount of fear that was just infused into me wasn't enough to even go talk to him. The first time was because we were arguing on the phone, he hung up on me and when he immediately tried to call back and couldn't get through he called the cops on me.

Claiming that he felt our son was in danger, that all he heard was me yelling at our son (lie #1) and then the phone went dead (lie #2) and after numerous tries he couldn't get through on the phone to find out what was happening (lie #3) So would they (the cops) go out and make sure his son was safe. So of course and I'm glad the cops do that, they came out realized it was nothing and left. Did anything happen to my EX? Not a thing, I even have an email from him asking me if it bothered me that the cops came to my door?

Starting with that incident, and ending with him verbally attacking me coming within 5 inches of my face with my back against my car door.  When I reached for my phone to call the cops, he tried twice to take it away and throw it as he has done to me on many previous incidences. Once he realized the cops were on their way, he took off like the little girl he is. The cops arrive, he's gone, and the only physical evidence that he was even there was my emotional break down and our son sitting in the back seat of the car.

What did the cop do for me? He was compassionate and gave me good advice, did he do anything to my EX. No, there were no physical marks left on my body to warrant him to even go investigate the incident. My EX knows this and uses it to his advantage every chance he gets. What's sad is my EX was told by the OC Sherriff that came out earlier that the exchange of our son was to be peaceful and that neither one of us was to speak to the other. which it also states in the mediation papers that were filed in the courts. I upheld my end by not saying anything to him, until he charged after me and our son trying to prevent me from picking Daniel up because I said "maybe next time" when I was asked if Daniel could stay for a sleep over that night with his friend.

Jim broke the law, many times that day. Yet not only did I walk away from this being the "bad guy" but emotionally sent back to that terrified wife that fled from him 2 1/2 years ago from NV.  I know in the long run I have everything documented and the courts will see it. But until then what protection do I have, when he knows that he can break the laws and nothing will happen to him unless he leaves a mark.

I've tried my best to keep Daniel out of this whole thing. Walk away everytime Jim starts to drag him into our issues. Not let him push my buttons infront of our son. But I'm only human and I have a breaking point, and it broke my heart on Sunday when Daniel asked me while we were waiting for the cops to show up "mommy can't we just go home?" What do you do? You've ran away, or pretended it didn't happen through out your whole marriage. Even through this seperation yet over and over I'm put into a situation where Daniel is once again forced into it by his dad. While I then have to listen to people tell me "we" need to leave Daniel out of this when I'm not the one dragging him in. Leaving it up to me to let it go shielding Daniel from any other pain, or taking a stand and fighting back with the hope that it will eventually stop. How can I live with myself knowing that I'm teaching him to defend himself against bullies at school while I run away from my own bully. How do I teach my son it's not right to treat women the way his father does, yet he sees no consequences for his father's actions?

I've been told to get a lawyer, take him to court. It's a nice thought but when you can't even afford a lawyer's adivice let alone a retainer you're at the mercy of your abuser, because as the leagle father he has rights. I'm open to any advice someone might have, I've tried every avenue I can think of with no sucess. Before anyone says "leagle aid" I've been on the waiting list for a lawyer to be assigned my case for over a year.

If anything just venting has helped me tremendously, thank you for that.

Just when I thought he couldn't get any lower, he proves me wrong. Last night as you know we were arguing over the phone. Well guess who the mystery caller was that called the cops on me? That's right everybody, my EX. Because he couldn't get through on my phone for maybe a whole 5 minutes, he called the Dana Point PD to do a "well baby" check. 

What's sad is when we were in mediation I had brought this exact issue up, and I wanted it stipulated in the papers that I can't be held responsible if he can't get through on the phone at the exact minute he wants to. Because everytime that happens I get accussed of trying to keep our son away from him.

The reason for his current temper tantrum is because I didn't say hello to him on the phone. At this point even if all of our communication was through a third party, he will stop at nothing to try and hurt me. Unfortunately it's hurting Daniel also, and he doesn't even care how much. I can only imagine what a 48 hours in Orangewood would have done to him, had those cops had the slightest thought (and now adays that's all it takes) a slight thought that Daniel was being harmed. Which he wasn't, but they could have taken him away to Orangewood, until it's straightened out. All because Jim got mad at me because I didn't say hello when he answered the phone.

How sad and pathetic is that, all I can do is pray for him.

Sorry about this guys but it seems my EX still has issues with me.  He claims he doesn't want to have to talk to me, agrees we have to communicate to each other about our son. Yet will only awknowledge it through a phone call. I've emailed him with information concerning our son, but he has so conviently forwarded any emails from me to his trash folder. That way, "I didn't get any email from you, I don't know what your talking about" can be used. So bear with me for a while, we must play our childish games.

Jim,

Don't unblock my email Jim, I'll still keep sending you info on Daniel. If anything I'll just post it all on my blog, that way I'll not only have the date and time on the email that I sent to you,  but it will also be time stamped on the blog which I save everything on there anyway.    I don't want to talk to you Jim, and tonight is a perfect example of why. The judge said we had to communicate with each other about Daniel, he didn't say how we had to communicate. Let's face it, if you really didn't want to talk to me you wouldn't have my emails blocked. Notice your address isn't blocked on my end, because I would rather communicate through emails.   Do what you have to do Jim, but I've already moved on. I refuse to let you get under my skin ever again. The next time I have an issue concerning Daniel, I will email you. You can not and will not force me to call you.

My father sent this to me, I thought it was so go I had to share it with my friends. It's been a little to serious, and scarey lately. Thought this would lighten the mood.

Ok, here's the plan:

Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men.

Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.

Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies.

In three generations, there will be no Democrats !!!


Damn; I love it when a plan comes together!

With mother's day right around the corner, I wanted to take a moment to wish my mother a very special mother's day. This is probably going to be the hardest mother's day for my mother to have to endure. I can't even image what she's going to go through, with the loss of my brother still so fresh on her heart.

Mom,

I know this year is going to be especially hard for you. With Steve's death still so fresh on our hearts, and our grief still so raw. I want you to know that no matter how hard it is, I'll be there for you.

I love you so much, and not just because you're my mother. You're far more to me than just my mom. You're my best friend, my mentor, and my strength. You taught me how to be strong when I was at my weakest. Yet showed me the art of compassion with your shoulder to cry on and a safe house to sleep in after I fled from Jim.

I wish there was some way I could ease your pain this mother's day, but I know I can't. I am a very lucky and blessed woman, I've never lost a child. My prayers will be with you, and I want you to know that Steve will come to make sure you have  a happy mother's day. He's never missed one yet, and even though he's in a better place. He's still a "Roy", and as a "Roy" we all know he'll finish up all his projects in heaven. To make sure that you know, he's still around and loves you so very much.

You told me on my birthday this year that I was a very good mother. Well mom, I had a great role model to take notes from. Because if I'm a good mother it's only because you showed me how. You are a fantastic mother, an I'm blessed that you're mine.

Happy Mother's Days Mom, may God Bless you.

I love you, Sylvia

I would also like to take a moment to wish all of my blogger friends, Scooch, MemoryJoe, Dasvics, and all the rest of you A very Happy Mother's Day. It's our day ladies, let's make the most of it.

Sylvia...:)

Now that reality T.V. show I would watch....:) Who cares how she survived a farm, I want to watch her survive county lock up. I bet with in 24 hours, she's moved to isolation for her own protection. Because that's as long as it will take Big Bertha to make Paris her bi#@h.

Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike her nor like her. I just think it's funnier than crap that she's going to have to spend 45 days in jail. With the common folk, no luxuries, no privacy, no guys!!!

Money says daddy will have her out within 30 days.. :)

I know there's this big issue out there about whether to spank your kids or not. I don't care how you choose to discipline your kids. I'm just pleading with the parents of today to just take control of their own kids.

While at work yesterday, these 4 punk white boy wanta-bees around 15-17yrs old came into my store. They seemed nice enough no problems, looking to rent some games. When we didn't have the games they wanted they left peacefully. Just about 5 minutes later, they pulled up out front. One ran in, threw down my bubble gum machine and ran out the door. Did I leave out the part where he stopped to smile at me on his way out.

This was clearly an act of just plain disrespect, not terrorisim. Maybe even just a dare, how sad. I know people will yell, you can't control what your kids do when you're not around. Well let me tell you this, if that's what they do when you're not around. What does that say about how the act when you are. When did it become alright to raise your kids with a complete lack of respect for others.

My sons do and did their share of mischievious acts. But I can honestly say that disrepsecting others property wasn't one of them. I spanked my first son, I started spanking my second. Then was shown there were different ways to discipline without the use of violence that were just as affective.

Now I'm not telling anyone how to take control of their kids, or judging the way you do discipline your kids. All I'm asking is that you start disciplining them, and teach them the value of repspecting others and their property. These are the same kids that are going to be running our country in 30 years. Now I know the idiots that are running it now can't fill a hole of dirt without an act of congress.

Don't we want our country to be ran by a better class of people in the future, not worse?

I know my intelligence level isn't as high as say Bill Gates. But I truely don't understand this immigration reform issue. My Godfather was from Mexico, my cousins whom I lived with for 2 years of my life are Mexican/American. This being said my question is not based on lack of tolerance towards another culture. My question is strickly based on the laws.

I saw the protest last year of all the students walking out of school. I see the banners flying high, equal rights to immagrants. I guess what I don't understand is, are they protesting for the rights of "legal" immagrants or "illegal" immagrants? The reason I ask is because I believe if you're in this country legally then by all means you deserve equal rights. My grandfather was from Canada, so I do have blood from other countries. But if you come into this country from no matter where illegally, why should you have the same rights to this country as your brother that came over the legal road?

I'm not trying to start a huge racial issue, I just don't understand what the upcoming protest tomarrow is truely about. And to tell you the truth, I don't think alot of those kids that are going to walk out of school tormarrow know either.

I love this whole research thing that I've been doing.

After thinking long and hard about the post my Ex made last week and the comment about my first marriage being in question as far as the divorce. So I started talking to my first husband about it, and he reassured me once again that we were in fact legally divorced. Just like he had when I wanted to get married to my second husband.

I mean after all, my first husband had  already been re-married for about 6 years at this point. So I didn't even question it, I believe I'm divorced. On the other hand though Jim was upset with my first husband for trying to put doubt in my mind in order to stop our wedding. So he took it apon himself to send my first husband an email. Telling him that whether or not I had a copy of my divorce papers it was not going to stop him (Jim) from marrying me. Because as far as he was concerned I was legally divorced.

Bigamy is a D class Felony.   If a person knowinly marries a second person while still married to the first, said person has committed  bigamy. (in a nut shell definition) 

Here's the kicker... If a person knowingly marries someone who is not legal divorced from their first marriage is also guilty of Bigamy.

Which I believe is a class D felony, if I remember correctly. Now I happen to know that I am divorced from my first husband. I just thought it was ironic that Jim was so strong to marry me, without the actual document, but isn't  strong enough to divorce me without the actual document.

Just makes me think...

Big plans all the way around, my son has a new friend. I'm so excited for him, he went over to his friends house to play all afternoon yesterday. The best part about it was when I asked him if he had a good time, his relply was fantastic!! He didn't miss home. Now I know everybody is say "What's the big deal"? Kids his age do this all the time, nothing new or spectacular. For my son though, we're talking about a kid that absolutely, 100%, hates any and I mean any kind of change in his routine. The idea of going over to a friends house is all good, and he has a good time. But usually not to long into it, he's wanting to come home because he misses his home so much. So it was a big day in the Roy's household.

Now the best part, he's got a sleep over tomarrow night and my long awaited plans for mommy have been made. !!!!!

For the first time in over 2 years I will be able to go out on the town with no worries, or fears. With my best friend by my side we're hitting the beach, the bar, the dance floor. Not necessarily in that order though.

My life has finally taken a turn in the right direction, when one door closes another one opens. When this one opened, it blew the entire roof off the house. There's no closing this one, not ever.