Northton

Well, folks, Fay is headed for Central Florida and you can almost hear the pop as she opens a fresh can of whooopass! 

Are you ready?

Check out these awesome satellite animations!

(opens in new window)

PRESENTING.....

THE GREAT SWAMI!!!!!!

The Great Swami knows all!!!

(Yeah, he's a know it all....)

This week's Message from Beyond:

The Weather!

Strong spirits prevaaAAaaiiiiil.........

 Fay headed toward FloridAAAAaaa.... AAAA.....

Stay tuned for more messages from the Great BeyooOOOoonnnd.....

Join us next time as

The Great Swami foretells 

The Future of the Paper Clip!

Want to help people get to heaven?

Blow up a church!

I've seen some pretty odd things over the years but this one was too good to pass up!

Check out the video!

Nature
By Ketzu Layder

Nature is neither cruel or kind. 
She is neither perfect of flawed.
Every horrible thing has happened to the best of us. 
Every wonderful thing has been granted to the worst of us.

Do not be offended by Nature.
You may as well be offended by your reflection in a mirror.
You are nature.
You belong.

Al B. Beck

By:  Ketzu Layder

Ask And Ye Shall Receive... it's an old concept, just open up your bibles to Matthew 21:22 or Luke 11:9 and there it is. Just ask and ye shall receive.  Alright, go ahead, ask for what you want right now. Tell the lord you want it today. Anything, world peace, end famine, a new car, maybe even a piece of heavenly peach cobbler.   Tomorrow, come back and tell me how you did. Remember, you have to believe it with all of your heart.  

And when you find that your wishes don't come true, come and admit it to all of us. Admit it's a lie, an untruth, a false statement, and that no one can have anything just by believing and asking. 

"No northton!  You can't tempt GOD!"

Why not.  Isn't that what He's asking you to do?  Believe, Ask, Receive.

"If it doesn't work it was not God's will!"

Really?  He says ask.  Why would He tell you that you will get what you ask for and then renege on his promise?  That's just lying! 

"You have to have enough faith northton!"

If you don't have faith, that's because you don't really believe it. You know it's not true. If you do really believe it, go ahead and make your wish. Make it a big one.  You either believe it or you don't.  And if you believed, and you did not receive, then you know it was a lie.

When you are tired of lying to yourself, come and admit that religion is not real. Come and take on a new life.  Tell us how your life has changed since you gave up on wishes and false promises, and became a  seeker of truth.

If you've been in Florida for a while, you've undoubtedly been through some hurricanes. 

A few years ago we had a very active hurricane season.  Lately it's been pretty calm.

What do you think?

Do you follow the cycles of the weather?

Is this year going to be calm or should we be watching out for the big one to hit soon?

When I bring up the subject of a world government, some people think of the weak and ineffective United Nations we have now, or a communist regime like the Soviet Union. 

But that's not what I'm talking about.  I'm talking about a real united nations, very similar to the United States of America.  States are individual entities but agree on some common laws.

What do you think? 

Can it be done? 

Can we live in a world united? 

How would you set it up?

How many of you have read or seen:  "I Robot"?  Basically the story is about computers taking over the world in order to "protect" people from themselves.  The story is coming true, only it's not computers taking over, it's our own government.

Long gone are the days when we could choose what is best for ourselves.  We have prohibition on many substances and the government has already declared war on anyone who violates their edict.  We've been told what we can even eat and drink,  children.  

Sure, many of us agree with these communistic laws just because we don't like these substances and we have allowed the government to pick on people who consume them.  Some of us have even fooled ourselves into believing it was the right thing to do.   Well, I hope we're happy, because phase II of our complete subjugation has officially begun. 

Arnold Schwarzenegger, the famous actor and governor from Austria, has signed a bill that has outlawed the types of foods that may be sold in restaurants.  No he's not banning crack in your coffee or sprinkles of marijuana on your brownies.  It's much worse than that.  Under the new law, trans fats must be removed from restaurant products beginning in 2010, and from all retail baked goods by 2011. 

I'm not going to present the merits or evils of trans fat.  I'm just letting you see what we've started by allowing the government to determine what people can and cannot eat or drink.  Enjoy your fries.  For now.

I am new to this song but I like it.  I'm assuming it's okay to post because the record company posted it on youtube with an embed link.  Enjoy.

Alrighty, seems we can not post videos any more so here's a link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnsW82BFjsM

Post your link and share!

Jesus Take The Wheel....

  I love that song, and the young lady that sings it has, dare I say it,

the voice of an angel!

If you haven't heard the song, it's about a lady who, when faced with wrecking her car with her baby in the back seat, decides to just throw up her hands and hope for the best rather than driving.  (and she lives!) 

So, in honor of this song, I present you with:

The Great Faith Challenge!

Those of you who profess your undying faith to the supernatural are invited to test your faith on our nation's highways!  All you have to do is drive at 70 or 80 miles per hour, head toward a bridge or other hazard,  and then let go of the wheel until your deity(ies) brings you safely to a stop. 

Extra points are awarded for ice and rain, with a special bonzo-bonus if you have a baby on board!

Take the Great Faith Challenge Today!

For entertainment purposes only.  Please do not attempt to let Jesus, or any of your other imaginary friends, take the wheel, the stick, or any other manual control devices.

My fellow Amercans.  It's been a long ten years since I took office, literally, from Al Gore.  Hehe..  When I started my reign in office, the country was in peace, the economy was doing well, heck the only thing on the news was Bill giving some Bimbo the Tour de Pants. 

Once I got in office, the terrists attacked us for no reason, so we went to Afghanistan and kicked some Al Kaydas to the curb .  But then I got to thinkin'..... while we're here we might as well shut Saddum Hussein up once and for all.  'Sides, it's good for the country.  If we're gonna have a new world order we're gonna need some new world LAW and order!  Hehe!  Yeah, I didn't mention a lot of things I could'a, but then you wouldn't have agreed to go!  Hehe!

But before I go, I just want to say thank you.  It's been fun.  I've enjoyed leading the world but I need a nap.  Now that Dick is president it's time for me to take on a different role.  I'm gonna be a fire engine. 

Thank You.

And remember,  there's an old saying in Tennessee... I know it's in Texas, probly in Tennessee, that says, "Fool me once.......  shame on.......... shame on  you............ you fooled me we can't get fooled again."

Four Western oil companies — Exxon Mobil, Shell, Total, and BP — are in the final stages of “talks with Iraq’s Oil Ministry for no-bid contracts to service Iraq’s largest fields.”

See full story.

What do you think?

Is this the real reason we went to war with Iraq?

The way things are going now, and with gas pumps reading like slot machines in a nightmare,  Americans are looking for ways to cut back! 

Some businesses are going to a four day work week, working four ten-hour shifts instead of five eight-hour shifts to save on gas! 

These are hard times, my fellow Americans, and hard times call for hard answers!  If everyone worked four day weeks, Americans would save big bucks on gas and get an extra day off too! 

I challenge every good American to ask for a four day week immediately and for businesses to shut down for one extra day per week! 

I challenge every good American to support this effort by not complaining about the minor inconvenience of losing one day of shopping!

Benjamin Franklin said, "A penny saved is a penny earned." 

It's time to save our pennies, America! 

I challenge each of you to keep America strong!

I challenge you to give a day to lower gas prices! 

I challenge you to

Give A Day To America!

The Swami is in!  I am getting a news flsh from the other side! 

On June 3rd, 2008, Obama will claim victory in the primaries by a vote of delegates! 

Also, someone in an apartment complex will lose their celphone and miss an important interview.. Not sure why that matters.  See you next time! 

The Swami has Spoken!!!