newzjunky's Blog

Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

You never know where to look when eating a banana.

Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mom or dad.

Every man has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

Old women with mobile phones look wrong!

Its impossible to look cool while picking up a Frisbee.

Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

Old ladies can eat more than you think.

You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.

No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned electricity plug.

People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.