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by klh1886

Last Post 23 days, 23 hours Ago


Can you survive on ONE income?
Jan 16, 2007 | 9:16 AM
Category: News
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First let me say that this blog is intented for two income families. Is it possible to live on one income today? I say yes it is. I am also not refering to incomes over say $70,000.00 per year either. I am a parent of five children. My husband and I definatly qualify for the under 70K also. I have for the most part been a stay at home mom. It certainly has been difficult financially thru out the years but we have managed. If you are willing to sacrafice to be home with your children it is possible. Our first house we bought was a pit. Very structurally sound but a disaster. Hells Angels had rented it before we bought it! We sold everyhing we had to buy this house. We moved in with barely any furniture, and had to buy a mis matched stove and fridge. We had two used cars at the time also. For eight years we fixed up the house. If you claim 0 on your taxes all year you can get quite a bit back if you have deductions. We would use that for the big fixes. We learned how to paint, sand, patch, wallpaper etc. ourselves. Way more cost efficient. In eight years we sold our home for double. We bought another fixer upper and again have doubled our money. My husband works very hard, and works over alot. Thru out the years if needed I would get a part time job to help out. But it was when my husband was home to be with the children. We have always had food, nice cloths, and all the essentials in life. Even some non essentials. If we couldn't get something we wanted right away we'd watch the sale adds until we can buy it, and we save a little at a time until we can pay for it. Are we in debt? Of course. Isn't just about everyone? But we could pay our house payment working at McDonalds if we had to! So you see if there's a will there's a way. We decided if we chose to have our children then WE chose to take care of them also. Has it been easy? NO. Has it been worth it? You betcha!
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Member Comments Total Comments: 38
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butterflykisses427 read my blog view my photos
Jan 16, 2007 | 10:08 AM

Some mom are working moms because they choose to be. Not all people are happy at staying home all day. You were able to stay at home because your husband was willing to work a lot in order for you to do that. You said he works overtime a lot that is why you are able to stay at home. If he worked his normal hours than would you be so lucky? How about jobs that are salaried and you can't earn overtime? Or your in a job that doesn't offer overtime. Not everyone's living situation is a one size fits all kind of thing. Everything is working for you but that doesn't mean it is going to make someone else's family happy.
Pikie read my blog view my photos
Jan 16, 2007 | 10:16 AM

I'd like to add something to this blog.

Being human we all want things. We all have hobbies. But when you make a decision to have kids, those kids become the first priority.


So many young people I talk today (including my stepdaughter) want it all and want it all now. They try to compare themselves to us older folks, who have worked our butts off paying off a mortgage. They want huge HD TV's, all the cable channels, new furniture, cellphones, playstations, a house, new car and kids.

There were so many years I went without--I had a 19" TV up until about 3 years ago. When it broke, I replaced it. Did the kids complain--you betcha. I still don't have all the cable channels or DVR. I don't have a playstation and only last year did I upgrade from windows 98. I still live in the little house I bought 28 years ago.

Kids need supervision and they need to know their parents care about them. It isn't about buying them things, it's about hands on parenting. It's worth it in the long run as your kids become adults that are hard working, sensible, and responsible.
klh1886 read my blog view my photos
Jan 16, 2007 | 10:25 AM

I agree that not everyone has a one size fits all life. But I think becoming a parent should take serious consideration on both parents part. Picking a partner that felt as convicted as I was in parenting rolls was very important. If people would consider their options BEFORE they jumped in the water most would not be in the situations they are in. Being a mother is a full time job. Unfortunatly a non paying one. Should the children get stuck with their parents un thought out decisions? If one thinks about the decisions they have made in the past most would see that being able to be home was a viable option. It's all about choosing the right options. Or start sacraficing to get to the point of being able to be home. I worked full time for about the first 4 or 5 years of marriage. We had debts like anyone else. But we set the goal and worked towards it. I think just about anyone can make this happen to. If they both are willing partners and parents. As far as families being happy. That's per each individual. I just do not like hearing (especially) moms complain that they have to work while they're sitting in a $300K house and two new cars sitting in the drive!
FlyingChanges11 read my blog
Jan 16, 2007 | 11:30 AM

I'm glad you're happy being a stay at home Mom. That life is not for everyone. I REFUSE to be a stay at home Mom. I did not get an education and work my butt off to get that education so I can sit at home watching/taking care of kids and all that sorta thing.

It is not for everyone. I some families can survive on one income, but life is a heck of a lot easier with two.....
Pikie read my blog view my photos
Jan 16, 2007 | 11:34 AM

That's it, klh. What I'm trying to say. We all want things, like a $300k house & 2 new cars sitting in the driveway. But you have to ask yourself when you decide to have kids "Are these things that I WANT or things that I NEED"?

Yes, one size doesn't fit all. Sometimes 2 parents working is a true necessity, just to have food and shelter. But a lot of times both work because of wants and not needs.

klh1886 read my blog view my photos
Jan 16, 2007 | 12:59 PM

It's not that I'm always happy being a stay at home mom. Sometimes it's very difficult. Sometimes I wonder why. Honestly, being a mom is very difficult at times. I just feel that the mom has the choice of being a mom. A child does not. I don't think it's fair to have children and they're not considered the most important people in a moms life. Believe me being at home at first drove me nuts. It took me a long time to really appreciate why I was doing it. But I know that as my children got older they did appreciate me being around. Being able to take them to school. Being able to be home when they got home. Being home when they were sick etc. I have nothing against women with an education wanting to have a career. But personally I feel that if you choose to have children then they should come first. Their wants and needs not our own. After I finally got used to being at home I totally appreciated the job of being a mom. I also realized that no outside job could be more important than the job I had home with my children. Very fulfilling.
Pikie read my blog view my photos
Jan 16, 2007 | 1:11 PM

"I did not get an education and work my butt off to get that education so I can sit at home watching/taking care of kids and all that sorta thing."
Isn't that what motherhood is? What is the reason for having kids then? If you don't want to raise them why did you have them? They can't raise themselves and you can always go back to your career after they're grown a little.
hillbilly67 read my blog view my photos
Jan 16, 2007 | 7:03 PM

I agree with everyone who has blogged. I have worked since I was 16 years old. My son was born in 86 and I stayed home for the first year. I liked it, because he was young. After that I could not stand to stay at home, due to the fact I was bored. There are some people who are made to be at home and I am not one of them. If your husband can support all of you that is wonderful. I believe that you can help your spouse and get to your goals together by working. I like money and so does my husband. I have a college education and use it everyday of my life and working. I put myself through college with the help of my husband. I give the mom's who can stay at home all the support they need. It is wonderful that you can. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go around. I remember when my son was young and I liked to have time off to do things with him, yet home everyday, I would pulled my hair out. Keep up the good work.
FlyingChanges11 read my blog
Jan 17, 2007 | 4:46 AM

PIKIE:

I do not want kids and to me, sitting at home with kids is useless...for ME. I'm not saying its not a great experience for those who want to do that.

I have no intentions of having kids...as a matter of fact I have my sterilization date marked on my schedule for October of this year.

But for those who want to do it that's their decision. It's not for me.

klh1886 read my blog view my photos
Jan 17, 2007 | 8:49 AM

It's nice to hear of someone who seems to have actually taken control of their own lives. No children ever? Aren't you just a little nervous about such a permanent descision? I never really wanted children when I was younger. Funny isn't it. But for the most part I'm glad I did. They're pretty neat when they are older. Plus the grandkids are the best.
butterflykisses427 read my blog view my photos
Jan 17, 2007 | 9:33 AM

I know several working moms that are wonderful moms. I'm not trying to sound mean but I get the tone from a couple of you that a mom who chooses to work or has to work is selfish and not as dedicated to their children. Which is entirely not true in all cases. There are moms both stay at home and working that don't give a darn about their kids.

Your dedication to a child is not how much time you spend with your child it is what you do with that time.

klh1886 read my blog view my photos
Jan 17, 2007 | 10:11 AM

I'm sure there are wonderful working moms. I personally feel that if they're working full time (especially during the day) the children are suffering to some degree. I volunteered at our school for a while. The things I saw with these kids were unreal. Parents dropping there children off at day cares at 6:00AM. they would have to take a bus to school from there Then a bus back to day care after school to sit and wait for hours to be picked up. Children being sent to school sick because the parent couldn't stay home and watch them. Children having to stay in the nurses station all day because the parent couldn't leave work to pick them up. Children I know personally who come home to an empty home everyday. Children that continuously eat junk, and fast food because no one has time to cook. Children being left after practices for hours because no one could pick them up. I can go on and on. This is (in my opinion) not parenting. With these examples I do have a problem. This is not the minority either. That was the purpose for the most part for my blog. I feel if you choose to have children then you should also choose to care and be their for them. In my opinion there is alot more to being a mom then just supplying the financial things. Children need emotional ties with their parents. Especially their moms when they are younger. They need to know mom will be their when she is needed. So with these types of scenarios I feel the parent is being selfish. If you have two parents there is almost always a way to be home with and for the children.
Pikie read my blog view my photos
Jan 17, 2007 | 10:30 AM

Sorry Flying--the way that was written it looked like you had kids and didn't want to be with them at all.
FlyingChanges11 read my blog
Jan 17, 2007 | 10:50 AM

"No children ever? Aren't you just a little nervous about such a permanent descision?"

I have thought this through very long. There is no part of me that even looks at having kids as a joy..to me, personally, its a burden.

As someone who laughs at the little kid who falls because he was running in a store, despite the fact his parents told him to stop...I think its best for mankind that I don't have kids....
klh1886 read my blog view my photos
Jan 17, 2007 | 10:57 AM

Well if you feel that strongly about children, I would have to agree with you. At least you knew this before and not after the fact.
butterflykisses427 read my blog view my photos
Jan 17, 2007 | 10:57 AM

Flying-I say you are making a very mature decision. I think there are many parents that have kids because that is what society says you should do. I worked with a girl who said she didn't want to get married or have kids and took every precaution. I admit I'm a kid person but I know not everyone is.
gamer173 read my blog view my photos
Jan 17, 2007 | 2:18 PM

If your kids are at school all day then you could work why they are there. I love people who don't want to work using there kids as an excuse. I am sure kids like to see both parents and if one parent has to work overtime all the time it is like getting raised in a one parent house.

klh1886 read my blog view my photos
Jan 17, 2007 | 2:28 PM

The only problem is getting a job that lets you have off when they are home on vacation. Especially on summer vacation. That's for three months! Or everytime the kids are sick. I was lucky enough to actually get a part time job that was very lenient concerning my kids. Most are not that lucky. Thats why it's probably easier to get a part time job when the father is home.
klh1886 read my blog view my photos
Jan 17, 2007 | 2:43 PM

Gamer: I thought about your comment for a minute and I was just wondering if you feel being home taking care of the children, the home, and yard etc. is not pretty time consuming? Wouldn't you appreciate coming home knowing that your children were well cared for, your home is clean, your dinner is on the table waiting for you, your laundry is done, most of the yard work is done etc? Except for major projects that I can not do my husband, children, and home are well cared for. On top of working part time. Are you saying that you would not appreciate that as a man? This sure sounds like full time work to me.
FlyingChanges11 read my blog
Jan 17, 2007 | 6:14 PM

What are we back in the 50's?

Maybe I'm just too liberal in my thinking that women should be involved in more than just housework/child rearing...they are worth a lot more than just that...

And hey, if my fiance's hungry and I was home that day..he has no issue making dinner.

Marriage should be teamwork..not dominated by one sex....

Just my humble opinion.....
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klh1886

I am married to a wonderful man for 10 years. Between the two of us we have five children. Ages 18 thru 26. I enjoy gardening, yard work and taking care of my grandson. My most favorite activity when I have time is to sit by our little pond with my coffee watching our fish.

Member Since: 10/22/2006


 

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