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Copyright 2007-2008

Portrait Of The Streets (True Life Stories - Tripper) - 6,732 words

Camp Radcliff, An Khe, Vietnam, (April 6th 1970, Attack)

Section 1

Attention Vietnam Veterans
(A) If you served in Vietnam and were stationed at Camp Radcliff, An Khe, April 6th 1970, the night 17 helicopters were damaged or destroyed, please contact: 801-216-6343@rodmitchell.info  

(B) A freelance investigation is under way to find out how the VC. (Vietcong, 2 sappers) got inside Camp Radcliff, accomplished their mission and then got out again so easily without being captured or killed in action. They committed the perfect crime, and obviously, a feat that only someone with superhuman abilities would have even attempted. see Section 5-F&F1&F2

(C) If you were at Camp Radcliff, on the night of the attack and especially, if you received an early out of Vietnam, under AR-212 around that time, your account of the attack is pertinent to this investigation. Your testimony could very well be the missing link that exposes a major conspiracy committed by the United States Army to deceive the world by manipulating the news media (or a cover-up to conceal their incompetence during the Vietnam conflict). see Section 5-A1

(D) It's only speculation at this time but there are 2 distinct scenarios that fit what happened that night in An Khe:

(D1) The chain of command was caught off guard by the attack and responded so incompetently that it was necessary to blame scapegoats and smoke-screen (conceal) their blunder and lack of military professionalism.

(D2) The entire attack was nothing more than an unannounced military-training exercise conspired to generate media-hype and manipulate world news. see Section 5-L&M2

Important To All Veterans:
(E) 400,000 veterans who received "less than honorable" discharges between 1964 and 1973, may be eligible to have them upgraded to Honorable. Even on an Honorable discharge, a "Spin Code" (SPN - Separation Program Number) can hurt a veteran's chance of being hired by a prospective employer. These spin codes were put on DD 214 (discharge papers) from the 1940's through the early 1970's. Veterans can request a new DD 214 with the spin codes removed (e.g. AR-635-212 SPN 264).
Courtesy: Edwin Crosby - http://veterancourtcodes.com

(E1) A complete listing of SPN numbers and their full meanings can be found at the following website - www.crazyhouseradio.com/spincodes.html

Section 2

Notarized Affidavit Of Rodney Lee Mitchell Jr.
(A) I was the one who found the location where the VC. (supposedly) exited the wire and left the perimeter of the camp. The entire scene was surreal, it certainly did not look like 2 infiltrators had just scrambled through the wire fleeing for their lives. Quite the contrary, the grass was matted down and shaped in such a fashion that it looked like someone had taken their time to purposely make it look picturesque; right in the center of the matted grass that led under the wire was a completely exposed *satchel-charge. It was neatly wrapped in large leaves and perfectly placed on the ground like a military museum display. Looking back now in 20/20 hind sight, it almost seems as if I had stumbled onto the set of a Hollywood war movie. 

*satchel-charge - touch sensitive or hand detonated bomb

(B) Mysteriously enough, the *aerial flares (pop up canisters) were removed from the guard tower closest to where the VC. exited the wire at the perimeter just days before the attack. Also, the searchlight positioned on top of Hon Cong Mountain was not utilized when a radio request for illumination was rendered by the GIs pulling guard duty in that same tower the night of the attack. It also just so happened that a very suspicious acting GI. shot out the only perimeter light in front of the tower in question when he went ballistic (trigger happy) with an M60 machine gun. see Section 5-D1

*aerial flares - hand launched, parachute flares

(C) In July of 1970, I was *212ed out of the service for having Character/Behavior Disorders (Passive/Aggressive Personality Disorder). However, up until the time of the An Khe attack, I had no prior mental health issues or history of such in my family. see Section 6-H

*AR 212 - early out of the military for anyone of various reasons

(C1) To add insult to injury, I volunteered for the draft, a 2 year enlistment (Portland, Oregon, 1969). My DD 214 (military record) lists me as a 3 year enlistee; something I had no knowledge of until my early out of the service. see Section 3-A&A4

After Thoughts:
(D) Upon receiving an AR-635-212 SPN 264 - separation from the U.S. Army in 1970, I completely disassociated myself from the establishment out of bitterness and resentment. I am now 58 years old and I've never even registered to vote in any political election in this country or its territories. Furthermore; I do not foresee my position, opinion and perception of the United States Government changing at anytime soon. see Section 6-I&J2

Section 3

Volunteering For The Military Draft
(A) All of my teenage years (1963-1969) were over-shadowed by what was happening in Vietnam and the military draft. I personally found it impossible to make any plans for my future because I knew deep-down inside that one day I would be serving in South East Asia, and perhaps be mortally wounded. As the years passed and I became of draft age, the anxiety caused by the anticipation that Uncle Sam's draft notification would be arriving at anytime was just too overwhelming for me to bear (it distressed my mother emotionally even more), so while vacationing along the tranquil Kalamath River in Sweet Home, Oregon, just after my 19th birthday I decided to volunteer for the 2 year draft and face the war in Vietnam, head-on.

(A1) The next day, I left the serene countryside of Sweet Home and went into the big city of Portland, Oregon. While there, I located an army recruiting office and stopped by just to ask for directions to the local draft board. The recruiter immediately struck up a conversation with me (sales pitch) like a used car salesman, and what that con-artist, quota-making, dress-coat warrior preached to me that day in 1969, has echoed through my mind ever since.

(A2) "Oh, you don't have to go all the way to the draft board, you can volunteer for the draft right here, today."

(A3) As-God as my witness, I left that army recruiter's office with the full understanding that I had just signed up for the draft, a 2 year enlistment.

(A4) 11 and a half months later (returning from Vietnam), I found out that I had a 3 year enlistment and to pour salt on an open wound, I didn't even get my choice of AIT./MOS. (school/job), or any of the other 3 year enlistment benefits (my choice of duty station would have been ideal). If I would have wanted to serve in the military for more than a 2 year enlistment in the first place, I would have joined the navy and became an aerial photographer like my father had been during World War 2., or joined the air force and became a jet engine mechanic, specialist (lifer) like my uncle Lawrence did.

Serving My Country
(B) Even before the attack on Camp Radcliff, I had already been in the service for 8 months. I took my basic training at Fort Lewis, Washington, and I loved every minute of it. For some reason, I had 3 different drill instructors during my 8 weeks of boot camp; one would leave, and a new one would take over every couple of weeks which made it chaotic but oftentimes fun. I did very well on the firing range and was awarded a special metal for qualifying as a marksman. I always wore it on my uniform in public and I was very proud it. Upon graduating from boot camp I was promoted and my salary was increased as well.

(B1) After boot camp, I was sent to Fort Belvoir, Virgina, and trained in diesel engine maintenance. My MOS. was 52B20. I really learned a lot, especially about electrical generators. There was a tailor shop near by the base and I had them sew silver buttons on my dress uniform. I liked them a whole lot more than the simulated brass buttons that came with it and I thought that they looked more prestigious and patriotic. Fort Belvoir, was a fascinating military base to be stationed at and it was certainly, one of the high-points of my life.

(B2) After AIT. (8 weeks of school), I spent Christmas-1969, with my family and friends in Buena Park, California, then caught a flight out of San Fransisco, to Vietnam. Upon arriving in country I was promoted again and my salary was increased again as well.

(B3) I maintained a perfect service record the entire time that I served in the United States Army, I was even awarded 3 service medals but soon after the VC. (supposedly) infiltrated our wire and blew-up 17 helicopters, I was discharged for having Character/Behavior Disorders (Passive/Aggressive Personality Disorder). see Section 6-H&H4

Section 4

My Tour Of Duty In Vietnam
(A) By the time I arrived in country, Camp Radcliff, had grown to be a thriving military metropolis. Several petite and beautiful, young Vietnamese women (hootch maids) were being trucked in daily to do domestic chores and accommodate the GIs. Vietnamese men of all ages were being brought in too for odd jobs and handyman type work. The camp had 2 airports, one for airplanes and one for helicopters. There was a PX. (department store), U.S.O. (entertainment), an Officers' Club and a day room for the GIs (25 cents a beer). The An Khe River flowed right through the camp; secluded down by the river was an Asian massage parlor. Massages were $10.00 an hour and that was back when the minimum wage was only $1.45 an hour in the United States. 18 long miles of wire were used to create the perimeter and it took nearly an hour just to drive around it by jeep. Hon Cong Mountain towered over it all with its searchlight ready to light up the night at a moments notice. Just outside the entrance to Camp Radcliff, sat the town of An Khe, almost anything one could want (legal or illegal) could be found there for a price.

(A1) I'm sure that Camp Radcliff, had more than its share of re-enlistees; lifers, who pulled 2 & 3 tours of duty there "serving their country" in the Vietnam War.

Hon Cong Mountain Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye5fouwt_EA
An Khe Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9fGpPW8uLE&NR=1

Here's Something To Think About:
(B) Camp Radcliff, was so well fortified that only a superhero, or someone stoned out of their mind would have even considered attacking it. Every weapon the army had at its disposal was there, or just a radio call away. So how could 2 skinny Vietcong infiltrators, the size of a couple of 7th graders carrying at least 9 satchel-charges each, infiltrate and blow up 17 helicopters and then sneak out again, and get away? It would have been suicide.

(B1) The perimeter wire around Camp Radcliff, was as-wide as a four lane highway, and so dense and impenetrable that I doubt if a Jackrabbit could have even gotten through it. Plus, when you take into consideration the fact that the perimeter was guarded with M60 machine guns, *Claymore mines and M16 rifles in the hands of GIs who were just dying to make their first kill and if that wasn't deterrent enough, a Cobra attack helicopter could be ordered in and its mini gun could put a bullet in every sq. inch of a football field size sector within one minute. So, would you chance breaking in?

*Claymore mine - a hand detonated bomb that fires steel balls, uses C4 as an explosive charge

(C) While other soldiers made extra income in the Black Market (trafficking illegal drugs), or pandering (pimping Vietnamese prostitutes), I made my extra money by pulling guard duty for GIs who paid me between $10.00 & $30.00 a night to stand guard for them on the perimeter. I made a lot of money in Vietnam and subsequently, I was on the perimeter of Camp Radcliff, about a mile from the helicopter landing zone practically every single night of the week.

(D) Pulling guard duty on the overnight shift certainly had its advantages and fringe benefits. I had my platoon Sargent's authorization to do it anytime I wanted to (looking back now, he probably hoped I'd be killed by enemy sniper fire). I was excused from being present at all company formations, and while everybody else was working I was either sleeping or roaming around exploring. A couple of days a week I played lead guitar in a 4 piece Rock N Roll band (top 20 hits, classic rock now). One night, I received a standing ovation while playing a lead guitar *solo at the Officers' Club; it made them feel like they were back home and at a real live concert. The hootch maids loved watching the whole band play, and one day they were almost late catching their ride back to town because they were side-tracked listening to us practice in the movie-house.  

*solo - http://75.126.169.142/~tfcxnybc/Tripper.html
This is a recording of the original guitar solo that I played at the Officer's Club in 1970.

(D1) Music was a big part of every GI's life in Vietnam; for me, it was soul soothing and spirit comforting. In my personal area of the hootch where I lived, I had a 4 track, reel to reel, player/recorder with Sound On Sound and 2 large stereo speakers. I also had an audio library of all the music I liked on reel to reel prerecorded tapes: Gimme Shelter by The Rolling Stones (Let It Bleed, vinyl album 1969) was one of my favorite songs and I played it loud and often.

(D2) Out of everything I had in Vietnam, nothing compared to my camouflaged, nylon poncho liner that I used for a bed spread, that and my fish net mosquito screen that draped around my bottom bunk was the envy of everybody in Company C., my platoon Sargent didn't even have one.

(D3) Honestly, I had it made in Vietnam, a heck of a lot better than I ever had it in the states and truthfully, Camp Radcliff, was a hell of a lot safer. If it would have been up to me, I would have stayed there "serving my country" until the end of the Vietnam War.

(E) I celebrated my 20th birthday in country on March 22nd 1970. I'd already been in Vietnam for 2 whole months and I hadn't even heard a single rifle shot fired. In fact, it was so quiet that one of my GI buddies volunteered to go outside the perimeter on short-range patrols in hopes of seeing some action but unfortunately, all he ever encountered was a 15 foot snake (he brought the reptile's head back to camp in a burlap sack). Camp Radcliff, was certainly not a place where heroic deeds and great battles were taking place that's for sure.

(E1) The only threat that one had to contend with there was the GIs themselves. Many of the GIs that I served with in Vietnam were very hostile and militant. There was even talk in some circles about a revolution against the lifers. They always had an ax to grind with the chain of command and one never knew when one of those crazy radicals would get their hands on a *CS. gas grenade and throw it around the company grounds at night while everybody else was sleeping. That's one reason why I pulled guard duty on the perimeter so often, it was safer.

*CS. gas - a military form of tear gas

(E2) There was so much tension inside the camp that all of our weapons were locked up in an armory and no one could touch them unless they were going to pull guard duty, or go outside the perimeter on patrol.

Section 5

April 6th 1970, The Night Of The (Supposed) Attack On Camp Radcliff
(A) It just so happened that I was scheduled to pull guard duty on the perimeter the night of the attack (just my luck). I wasn't out there making extra money substituting for anyone else, and little did I know that would be the last time I would ever pull guard duty on the perimeter again. see Section 6-D1

(A1) I am presently seeking the testimonies of other GIs who were pulling guard duty on the perimeter that night in An Khe. I am also extremely curious to learn what their discharge status was at the time of their separation from the United States Army, and what their SPN. code numbers were. see Section 2-E

(B) The night of the attack started out just like any other night on guard duty, I had 2 other GIs in the machine gun tower along the perimeter with me. One of the GIs, who I will refer to as GI. Joe, acted very odd as if he had something to hide. His presence was that of someone who was much higher in rank than he led on to be, and his character and behavior was that of a military career soldier (lifer), not just a *PFC. like me and the other GI. in the tower. It was GI. Joe, who took charge and supervised everything that happened in the guard tower that night, and he also did most of the radio-phone communicating with the Guard Command Post when they relayed back to us the sequence of events during the night, and our orders in relationship to what course of action we were to take in response. see Section 2-B

*PFC. - Private First Class

Sequence Of Events - April 6th 1970, (Time Duration Approximated)

(C) 12:00 pm. - The Guard Command Post notified us that the helicopter landing zone had been attacked by Vietcong infiltrators and that we were to assume a high-alert ready status.

(C1) Our tower was about a mile from the helicopter landing zone and we neither heard any weapons fire, nor explosions and would have not even known that the attack had occurred if not for the incoming message.

(D) 12:40 am. - The Guard Command Post informed us that *react teams had taken up strategic positions along the frontage road that ran the full length of the perimeter.

*react team - emergency reaction team

(D1) While the Guard Command Post was still on the radio-phone we requested illumination from the search light on top of Hon Cong Mountain. However, our request was never honored. 

(D2) The visibility behind our tower was no more than 50 feet at its best and since our aerial flares had been removed from our tower just days before, that left us at the mercy of the VC. if they approached us from the rear and especially, if they carried any fire arms. 

(E) 1:30 am. - The Guard Command Post notified us that one of the react teams had spotted the Vietcong on the move inside the camp.

(E1) The Guard Command Post did not tell us the location of the react team when they spotted the Vietcong, and they certainly did not tell us in which direction the Vietcong were heading.

(F) The following is what I base my testimony on that the April 6th 1970, attack on Camp Radcliff, was nothing more than a media manipulating hoax.
(F1) If the attack on Camp Radcliff, would have happened the way the original press release was reported to the world in 1970, then my firsthand knowledge of the Vietcong's escape route (F2-below) dictates the superhuman abilities that they must have exerted in order to escape that night and get away. I was guarding the perimeter that night where the Vietcong supposedly exited the wire and made their escape, and it is my own eyewitness account of the event that makes me so skeptical.

(F2) The next call from the Guard Command Post came 30 minutes later. During that 30 minutes; the superhuman Vietcong infiltrators completely evaded all of the react teams, crossed the frontage road, made their way over 50 feet of well-lit dirt & gravel (approx. 60 yards from our tower), placed a neatly wrapped satchel-charge at the edge of the perimeter wire then made their escape by crawling another 40 feet through the barbed-wire on their backs, and they performed this amazing disappearing act while I was watching the area with my weapon trained on it the whole time. see Section 2-A

(G) 2:00 am. - The Guard Command Post ordered us to commence firing outside the perimeter at the launch of a green flare to our rear-flank (we still hadn't seen anyone, especially, 2 skinny, Vietcong super-warriors).

(G1) GI. Joe immediately went ballistic (trigger-happy) and began firing a continuous barrage of *red tracers with the M60 machine gun. Upon panning the barrel of the weapon to the right, he made contact with the perimeter light that was in front of our tower and completely blew-it-apart. Later, GI. Joe claimed that it had been an accident, however, I had my doubts.

*red tracers - bullets that burn like red flares when fired

(G2) I and the other GI. in the tower emptied our clips of M16 rounds and then stood there watching GI. Joe go ballistic. In all of the commotion and excitement we apparently did not see a red flare that was launched to our rear-flank by the Guard Command Post signaling us to cease fire. They immediately called.

(H) 2:10 am. - The Guard Command Post called and said the following, " Shut that [...] weapon down, now!"

(H1) I got GI. Joe's attention and relayed the Guard Command Post's orders to him. He eventually came back to his senses and released his finger from the trigger of the M60 machine gun.

(I) At that point, I thought that the react teams and everybody else involved in the manhunt for the Vietcong would show up at our tower (our sector of the perimeter) to observe and take reports. However, nobody showed up, and it was at least 20 minutes later before another call came in from the Guard Command Post.

(J) During the entire night, I do not remember the searchlight on top of Hon Cong Mountain being utilized in the detection and position of the Vietcong infiltrators. However, I will testify that it was never focused down on our sector, our tower, or anywhere else that would have been critical in the event that the enemy really was approaching us from our rear-flank.

(K) 2:30 am. - The Guard Command Post called and informed us that a Cobra attack helicopter was on its way to our sector to engage the enemy. We were specifically ordered not to leave our tower, or do anything that might confuse or distract the pilot.

(K1) Approx. 10 minutes later, the night sky came alive with the thundering sound of the advancing iron reptile. The pilot circled once over head and then positioned his chopper so that it was parallel to our tower (approx. 75 yards away) and then engaged his mini gun (the Cobra's venom). When he did, the tracer bullets fired out of the weapon so fast and furious that what we saw actually looked more like red lightening bolts hitting the ground, or some sort of science fiction ray-gun beam. It was without a doubt the most awesome spectacle (and light-show) of fire-power that I personally had ever seen.

(K2) The Cobra helicopter assault lasted approximately 5 minutes and then the pilot flew away and the night returned to normal.

(L) I kept waiting for someone to show up and question us about what we had seen and heard during the night but nobody did. We never saw anybody our entire guard duty shift except the Cobra gun-ship pilot. We never received any more calls from the Guard Command Post either, and it seemed to me that the chain of command was acting way to cool and nonchalant about was happening that night for it to have been a real emergency (either that, or they were suffering from an acute case of senility). Looking back now in 20/20 hind sight, it all comes back to mind as nothing more than an unannounced military-training exercise, used as a publicity stunt to generate media hype and manipulate world news.

(M) At sunrise when there was plenty of day light to see by, I decided to go on my own react-patrol in hopes of discovering some physical evidence that the Vietcong had actually been in our sector (we never saw them). I left the tower and headed north along the perimeter wire looking for anything that would prove to me that they had actually been there.

(M1) I walked along the perimeter looking in and out of the coils and strands of wire for some trace of where the Vietcong had crawled through. I assumed that I wouldn't be able to find the actual location of their exit point because I had heard that the Vietcong were so clever at crawling under wire that they left no evidence or sign of their presence behind when they infiltrated.

(M2) About 60 yards north of our tower, I came across an exit point in the wire that was so obvious to the eye, and so perfectly created that it could have been used as a prop for a Hollywood, war movie. see Section 2-A

(M3) A short time later, my attention was drawn to the sound of voices coming up behind me. I turned around and saw a group of prestigious looking soldiers coming in my direction, and as they approached I pointed to the exit point in the wire that I had found. One of the men saw the satchel-charge on the ground wrapped in large leaves and said the following, "That's a satchel-charge," as if he had been trained in Vietcong, weapons and tactics.

(M4) Soon after that, a voice called out from someone in the group, "The General's coming." At that point, I dismissed myself and went back to my guard post inside the tower.

(N) At the end of our guard duty shift the Sargent of the guard came to our tower and picked us up and took us back to our hootches. Up until then, we had no idea what the damage report from the attack was or how many of the Vietcong were involved.

(N1) Upon questioning the Sargent of the guard about the attack, he told me that 11 helicopters had been blown up and a hootch full of GIs had either been injured or killed. That's what I've had to live with for the past 38 years; I never knew what the actual damage report was until I saw it on the Internet in June of 2008, while I was doing research for this document. The damage report that was released to the media in 1970, stated that 17 helicopters were either damaged or destroyed; that's quite a bit different than the report that the Sargent of the guard had given me at the time it actually happened.

(O) The April 6th 1970, attack on Camp Radcliff, was never mentioned again. There wasn't any interrogation or questioning of any kind by the chain of command (that I'm aware of), and being the subservient mindless puppet that I was programmed to be by the United States Army, I never brought it up again either.

(O1) I never saw GI. Joe, or the other GI. in the tower with us ever again.

(P) Little did I know but my "made in the shade" care-free lifestyle was about to come to an abrupt end. see Section 4-C&D3

(P1) Also, the night of the attack was the beginning of the end of my tour of duty in Vietnam, and my military enlistment. see Section 2-C

Section 6

After The Attack, 3 Months Of Character Assassination And Harassment
(A) The weeks following the supposed attack on Camp Radcliff, were very stressful and unpleasant for me.

(A1) Word started spreading that I was mentally impaired. My good friends started alienating themselves away from me and I in turn started becoming withdrawn and antisocial. I over heard my platoon Sargent talking one day to another Sargent and he said the following, "Tripper can't be all that crazy. I had him transcribe some of my typed paperwork into hand printing and he did a fine job on that."

(A2) I could sense a plot developing by the chain of command to discredit me and make my perception of reality appear imbalanced and distorted. It didn't take a mental genius to figure out why either, it was because I knew to much about the attack on April 6th 1970, being a hoax and just a publicity stunt.

(B) The rock band that I played in twice a week (see Section 4-D) was canceled by my company commander and no explanation was ever given why and I was also ordered to remove all of the stereo equipment from the hootch that I lived in.

(C) I was given a disciplinary duty assignment and my MOS. was downgraded.

(C1) My MOS. was 52B20, that's what my original orders were and that's what I trained for at Fort Belvoir, Virgina. After April 6th 1970, I was given the assignment of working in the Motor-Pool. This was an assignment commonly given to GIs who were on disciplinary duty like *KP. My DD214 (military record) lists my MOS. as 52B10, Power Generator Operator, quite a downgrade from what I originally went to school for.

*KP - kitchen police or patrol (kitchen laborer) duty oftentimes assigned as a minor disciplinary punishment

(D) I was assigned the worst guard duty post at Camp Radcliff, and was not allowed to fill in for other GIs for money anymore.

(D1) After April 6th 1970, the only guard duty post that I was assigned to was the searchlight bunker on top of Hon Cong Mountain. This was the most undesirable guard duty post within the perimeter of Camp Radcliff, and pulling guard duty there was dreaded by everyone. It was a small 2 man bunker positioned about thirty feet from the crest of the mountain top. What made the bunker so miserable is that when the giant spotlight on top of the mountain was powered on it attracted flying insects from all over the countryside and they in turn would get disoriented and confused by the massive beam of light and in one way or another, a few of them would end up inside the bunker with you. Many of the insects in Vietnam were huge compared to the ones we have here in the United States, and I swear, some of them looked like they were from outer-space.

(E) I received two *Article 15's and dropped 2 grades in rank and pay.

*Article 15 - nonjudicial punishment in the United States military

(E1) Within a couple of days of the attack, I received an Article 15, for missing a company formation. I had been given permission by my platoon Sargent to miss all company formations (see Section 4-D) but by this time things had changed and were out of his hands. Upon receiving the Article 15, I was ordered to attend every company formation and also told that I would only be able to pull guard duty when my name appeared on the guard duty roster.

(E2) My second Article 15, was issued for not being alert on guard duty. I was pulling guard duty in the Hon Cong Mountain, searchlight bunker and I had my military field jacket wrapped around my neck to keep the insects from going down my fatigue shirt collar when the searchlight was powered on. A rookie lieutenant issued the Article 15, and he claimed that I had been sleeping on guard duty.

(F) I got punched in the face by the company commander's male secretary (my face swelled up and I had a black eye).

(F1) One morning I went to where the hootch maids were washing clothes to see my hootch maid (Hom) because I wanted to give her some money to bring me some Vietnamese food from the town of An Khe. While I was there, the company commander's male secretary showed up and started acting belligerent and punched me in the face. I presumed at the time that he thought that I was trying to pick-up on his hootch maid and he was jealous but looking back now, I'm beginning to think that he was upset with me for allowing the Vietcong to escape the night of the attack when I was pulling guard duty on the perimeter.

(G) A few days later, I was a suspect in the *frag-grenade bombing of the General's birthday party (see Section 4-E1&E2). Upon being interrogated by my company commander, he threatened to punch me in the face again and blacken my other eye.

*fragmentation grenade - hand thrown explosive metal bomb

(G1) One night around 10:00 pm. while I was laying on my bunk, I was approached by my platoon Sargent who said the following in a very serious tone of voice, "Tripper, the company commander wants to see you in his office on the double!"

(G2) I got myself presentable and went to the company commander's office. Upon entering his office I could see that he was very excited. He immediately asked me what I had to do with the bombing of the General's birthday party earlier that night. Well needless to say, I didn't have the slightest idea of what he was talking about, I didn't even know it was the General's birthday (I certainly wasn't invited to his party). Furthermore, I resented the fact that I was being associated with the crime but I kept my cool and didn't let my feelings show.

(G3) I wasn't part of the underground revolutionary movement at Camp Radcliff, Vietnam, and I had nothing to add to the investigation. However, when I told my company commander that I knew nothing about that evening's bombing he got very irate with me and said the following, " Private Mitchell, if you don't tell me what you know about the fragging of the General's party, I'm going to punch you in the face and give you another black-eye!"

(G4) As I stood before the company commander looking him dead in the eyes, I couldn't help but suspect that he was lying, and that the bombing of the General's birthday party was just another charade. Thinking back about it now, I didn't see any MPs searching for a suspect that night or anyone else being interrogated. I think it was just another nail in my coffin, another excuse to railroad me out of the army for what I knew about the supposed attack on Camp Radcliff, April 6th 1970.

(H) Around July 13th 1970, I was ordered to see a psychoanalyst for a mental evaluation. By this time, I had become very leery of the chain of command. It was quite obvious that they were building a case against me to railroad me out of the service and I resented the fact that they were playing God with my life, and I was becoming paranoid about what they might do next.

(H1) I remember sitting in the psychoanalyst's office and talking with him. It wasn't anything like I had expected (or dreaded), there wasn't any interview or questioning of any kind and I was surprised to find out that he already had my mental evaluation prepared for me when I arrived. I remember his words just like it was yesterday but it's been 38 long years since then. He said, "Private Mitchell, it appears as if you have a Passive/Aggressive Personality Disorder."

(H2) I immediately responded and said the following, "And sir, what exactly does that mean?"

(H3) And to my surprise, the psychoanalyst replied, "That means that we're sending you home early under Article 212, you will be discharged with a general discharge under honorable conditions."

(H4) I willingly agreed with his decision, thinking the whole time that I had gotten off easy. He could have had me committed to a mental institution for the rest of my natural life, or had me transferred to a *cannon fodder brigade; either way, it would have not been in my best interest.

*cannon fodder - used to attract enemy fire, to detect their position

(I) Upon leaving Vietnam, I was sent back to Fort Lewis, Washington, (where I took my basic training) and after signing the final documents that secured my permanent separation from the United States Army, I stepped into the restroom and changed into my civilian clothes and then threw my dress uniform with the custom silver buttons on it in the restroom trash can (see Section 3-B1). I then left Fort Lewis, and went back to southern California, full of bitterness and resentment towards Uncle Sam and everything that he stood for.

(J) About a month after I returned home, a representative from the United States Army showed up at my place of residence unannounced and under very suspicious circumstances. It seemed to me at the time that he had come to take an attitude check on me, and to determine if I was going to be a public relations threat to the United States Government. 

(J1) I welcomed him into my home and listened very attentively to what he had to say and then bid him good-bye, and he left without a clue as to what I was really thinking.

(J2) Over the next 20 years, my resentment towards the United States Government evolved into hatred for society in general (including Christianity). That led to paranoia, antisocial behavior, fits of rage, drug & alcohol abuse and those demons had a very negative and destructive influence and impact on every aspect of my daily life.

This Concludes Camp Radcliff, An Khe, Vietnam, (April 6th 1970, Attack)  

Though my life was shattered and thrown into chaos and confusion because of what I experienced in Vietnam, I consider myself to be one of the lucky ones who served in South East Asia. I am lucky because I'm still alive and able to write my story for you to read - instead of you reading just my name inscribed in the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial Wall.

With the utmost respect and deepest sympathy for all of those who were not so fortunate: I For One, Will Never Forget.

I attest under penalty of perjury bound by the laws of the state of California, on August 11th, 2008, that the aforementioned statements are true based on my own perception of what took place during the time that I was an active member of the United States Army. Furthermore, I authorize the use of Polygraph Test (lie detector), Hypnosis (thought regression) and Sodium Pentothal (truth serum) on myself in my own defense should it be deemed necessary in a court of law within the jurisdiction of the Unites States Of America.

Rodney Lee Mitchell Jr. - AKA. in 1970: Tripper, Vietnamese nickname: Biet,
Co. C., 124th Signal Battalion (Core Of Engineers)
Copyright 2008


(Have Stamp Will Travel)
Mobile Notary Service
Sharon Diane Crawford
310-782-9072
Comm. # 1774294

Rodney Mitchell is a 58 year old homeless Vietnam veteran. He has survived by the guiding hand of God on the out skirts of society for the past 38 years. He has been traveling down a long and winding road trying to get back to where he was psychologically before his tour of duty in Vietnam. If you would like to help this homeless Vietnam veteran, please send your donation to:

Rodney Mitchell
C/O - AAA Laundry
1528 W. Carson St.
Torrance, Ca. 90501

Shocking New Book: Born Into Sin And Hell Too
Based on a real life story
The Reverend William Tripston, who has been researching the crisis of dwindling church attendance, and the continuous evolution of man's perception of God for more than two score and ten years has written a shocking new book entitled, Born Into Sin And Hell Too. This informative literal masterpiece traces the complete history of theology all the way back to the primordial swamps of Africa, to the present day cesspools of our own immoral society.

Intriguing Excerpts From The Book:

The bible has been under attack by renegade nonconforming clergymen who have taken it upon themselves to edit and rewrite the word of God. There are now at least ten different versions of the English Bible all reinterpretations of the Authorized Kings James Version which was published in 1611. If these new age, bible plagiarists would have tried to change one word of the King's Bible in his day, he would of had their heads chopped-off.

Today's clergymen are so motivated and manipulated by popular opinion that they have stooped to the lowest level of disgrace in order to increase church membership and donations. 90% of today's clergymen have never attended a bible college and many of them were ordained over the Internet. We now have virtual reality preachers using computers as pulpits, spreading the "Word" in their own warped interpretation of it by telling the world, "Praise God no matter what your perception of the Higher-Power is." Recreating God in your own imaginative image or in your own perception is paganism, and that's blasphemy!

Every few years there's a new translation of the Holy Scriptures published by these "wolves in sheep's clothing" who change the wording of the original bible around just a little more each time, making their new translation of the "Word" more sugar-coated and subliminally auto suggestive. These "False Prophets" are going to burn in the "Lake Of Fire" because little do they know that they're setting the stage for the appearance of the Antichrist.

Take heed, it was the people's own imaginary image of God, and the manipulation of their sacred texts that led to a massive schism in the ancient world and the downfall of the belief systems that we now refer to as mythology.

If we allow these rebellious, renegade, nonconforming pastors and preachers to do the same thing to our concept of God, and our Holy Bible by creating new denominations every time they get a rebellious whim to, then the Christianity that we worship today could very-well become tomorrow's mythology, and our future descendants would then look back on our religion as nothing more than a fanciful but ridiculous fairytale.

Profound Questions (Answered In The Book):

1. If Jesus died for our sins, why is he coming back to kill us for our sins?

2. Did Adam love his first wife Lilith (Jewish Lore & Legend)?

3. If Noah was born already circumcised then why wasn't Jesus?

4. Was Satan the real father of Cain (Jewish Lore & Legend)?

Reverend William Tripston is available for a book signing session by calling the following number: 801-216-6343.

Dare Devil, Crash Granny Dead At 87
Maudrice Langsley, the world famous Crash Granny who created 90% of all the dare devil stunts used in Hollywood movies was killed Saturday while finishing up her farewell tour in Sidney, Australia. Granny, who in all of her 87 years of doing death
defying stunts and never showed an ounce of fear, insisted on doing the semi-tractor-trailor, end-over-end cartwheel trick for a crowd of 200,000 screaming fans at Sidney's, Mysap Speedway.

According to spectators at the event, Granny got her big-rig up to 190 miles an hour while going up a 500 foot high ramp but lost-it when her false-teeth unexpectedly slipped from her mouth and fell on the catapult-boom-sling, release switch; a device invented by Granny herself to flip her big-rig end-over-end at the top of the ramp. Launched prematurely, the catapult-boom-sling hurled Granny's semi 500 feet into the air above the ramp and then slammed it to the ground, completely demolishing the rig and ripping Granny to shreds. Granny managed to scream out a few words on her CB. radio seconds before her death but was cutoff by speedway officials for using obscenities on a public radio frequency.

What was left of Granny's mangled carcuss was taken to nearby Chapel De Diablo where it was incenerated and put on hold, pending notification of next of kin.

Computer Causes Brain-Freeze
Meg Pixel, a computer professional in Shiftab, Iowa, has contracted the first recorded case of Brain-Freeze caused by starring too long at a computer screen. Doctors have been warning the public for years that it is possible for the human consciousness to lock-up on an image and freeze-frame it in the subconscious mind, so that an individual strickened with this rare condition will only see that particular image and nothing else. How long this condition lasts and how long an image can get fused into ones psyche can only be speculated on at this time.

Below in her own words is Meg Pixel's tormenting experience with this rare condition.

"My name is Meg Pixel and I spend the majority of each 24 hour day starring at my computer screen. By profession I am a dungologist, I study human feces for signs of bacterial infection. I have over 50,000 pictures of freshly deposited stool samples on my computer and I examine them all in super-high resolution and magnification. One night when I was working late examining one of my larger specimens, I noticed that when I pressed the "M" key on my computer keyboard to increase the magnification that nothing happened, so I pressed the "M" key a few more times and when that failed to enlarge the droppings, I assumed that my computer had locked-up, so I hit the reboot switch. I then waited a few seconds for the computer to start closing out my files and restart itself but nothing happened. All this time, I could still see the large specimen of fecal matter on my screen, well, I thought that it was still on my screen until I stood up from my desk. When I did, I almost went into a comatose-state of shock because everywhere I looked around the office, no matter which direction I looked in all I could see was the the large pile of human crap that I had been looking at on my computer screen, but now, I wasn't looking at my computer anymore, in fact the computer was off and the image was still visable in my head! It was terrible, no matter how many times I wiped my eyes or shook my head the feces stayed there frozen inside my eyeballs. All I remember after that was tripping over the office furniture trying to get to the phone, and then being found by the janitors, who then called, 911."

Dr. Amarillo Uyrn, Neurologist at the Shiftab County Hospital in Iowa, had the following to report on Ms. Pixels rare condition.

"The patient is resting comfortably now after being prescribed the strongest sedatives allowed by law. Ms. Pixel has been haunted by the taunting image of human waste for six long months now and her condition seems to be getting worse. She now claims that the image lodged in her mind is causing her to manifest a very foul odor in relationship to the fecal matter and it has become unbearable for her. How long Ms. Pixel will have to endure this rare Computer Brain-Freeze can only be speculated on at this time, after all, she is the first recorded case of it that we here at Shiftab, have ever encountered."

Civil War Discovery Hints At Cover Up
Maynard Haze, 3rd generation descendant and grandson of Jagard Haze, was drilling
an access shaft for a new well on his late grand-father's property and discovered an underground chamber full of Civil War documents and official orders from
the Confederate High Command. When interviewed about his recent historical discovery, Maynard Haze proudly stated the following.

"My family has owned property along the Bayou Tech in Louisiana, since 1765. One afternoon while drilling for water on the property, I hit a hollowed out area
about 20 feet down. Upon climbing-down into the chamber I discovered a treasure-trove of Civil War memorabilia and numerous Civil War documents addressed to
General Jagard Haze, my grandfather who lived during that era. It was strange finding artifacts from the Confederate High Command in regards to my grandfather
because nobody in our family ever new anything about his involvement with the confederacy or the Civil War, and he certainly wasn't written about in any
of the history books."

The Haze discovery has been turned-over to the Museum Of American History in Washington, DC. Curator of the museum Dorothy Fynds, reported the following to the media after exaiming some of the Civil War documents found at the site.

"From the documents that I have examined, it appears that General Jagard Haze was completely covert in his involvement with the Confederate Government. There appears to be a parallel history of the Civil War now being pieced together from the Haze discovery. One thing that I can tell you is that in the last-days during the fall of the south to the union troops, an order was sent from the Confederate High Command to General Jagard Haze to execute as many black Negro slaves as possible before the surrender to the north. Whether this actually happened is not clear at this point in time. We are presently searching through our database for the names
of those Negroes who were held captive in slavery from 1765 to 1865 in the south, and comparing them to our list of Negroes who were finally set free at the end of the Civil War. However, this may take sometime because we have already determined that there are literally thousands of our historical records that have been altered,
or are missing altogether; without this data we may never know if this mass execution and other atrocities mentioned in the confederate documents ever really took place in the south, or not."

Benefit Concert Goes A Rye
An outdoor benefit concert at the Hotsprings Fairgrounds in Dead Valley, Mx. to raise money for the deminishing Flame-Tailed Lizard went a rye when Buster Steels, lead guitar player for the Pine Box Band mistakenly plugged his electric
guitar into a super-charged 500,000 volt transformer instead of his portable 9 volt D.C. Jam Box. Buster suffered 3rd degree burns over his lower extremities
and cremation over the rest of his body and was pronounced discentigrated at the scene by curious on-lookers.

Lead singer for the Pine Box Band, Shank Williams was also critically injured when he tried to extinguish the super-charged electrical current by dowsing it with
cold liquid from a rented beer-keg.

Police Chief, Judd Rumchuger had the following to say about the band's shocking experience.

"I didn't notice anything wrong at first. When all the sparks started going off we all thought that it was the pyrotectics. The crowd, 150,000 drunken, crazy
fans started cheering and yelling and enjoying the light-show but then, the super-charged 500,000 volt transformer exploded and killed everybody within a hundred-yards of the stage. At that point, the crowd became very unrulely because the concert wasn't going as scheduled. Thousands of young-people started rioting and demanding their money back. They completely tore-up the fairgrounds, all the amusement rides and concession stands. I've never seen anything like it
in all my 25 years of police work."

The Dead Valley, City Council has launched a full investigation into the matter, and to see if the fans should get their money back. Some on the council said that the
pyrotectics were better than any of the music they've heard from the Pine Box Band anyway, so why should anybody get their money back?

Revolutionary New Cycle Ab Builder
A freelance engineer by the name of Tommy Lardas has revolutionized the physical fitness industry with his Cycle Ab Builder. This incredible new device combines
the mobility of a bicycle with the power crunching physical exercise of sit-ups.

Tommy Lardas had this to say about his revolutionary, mobile piece of gym equipment.

"I have always enjoyed riding my bicycle, not only is it nonpolutant to the enviornment but it gets me where I want to go too. Riding a bicycle is healthy for your cardiovascular system, your legs and forearms but it doesn't do Jack squat for your midsection or abdominal solarplex muscles. After riding my bike for years, my
legs and forearms were in top physical shape, however, my stomach, rib-cage area and chest were extremely obese. The skin around my chest area hung down to my waist and flopped around in the wind as I sped along on my way to work. I had a severe case of beer-barrel abs that when I wasn't careful would hang too low and drag on the front tire of my bike causing it to wear down rapidly and go flat. In fact, replacing both of my bicycle tires got to be very expensive over time. My hips and
hind-quarters were so huge that they weighted an incredible 300 pounds by themself, and replacing bicycle seats that snapped like twigs under the tremendous weight of my fat carcuss was a tuff job. Something had to be done to get my poor excuse for a body in shape but I didn't have time for the gym.

One night after drinking a case of 24oz. cans of beer and eating just as many avacado and maynaise sandwiches with extra salt, I received a flash of insight and inspiration from my higher-power and the idea for the Cycle Ab Builder, came to me.

I began working on my creation immediately and built the first prototype of the Cycle Ab Builder. I connected a 2' x 6" verticle, hinged plank to my bicycle seat. I then
connected two pully cables to the pedals and hopped on. Using the strength of my back to rock back and forth, I pulled one pedal up and the other pedal down as I
moved along. A burnt calorie calculator connected to my chest indicated that I was burning 10,000 calories an hour as I rocked my way along crunching the layers
of blubber away from around my chest and waist.

The Cycle Ab Builder was a total success and after riding it for just 6 months, I lost a whopping 400 pounds. I'm now down to 160 pounds with 6 pack-abs, instead of beer-barrel ones.

My name is Tommy Lardas and I recommend the Cycle Ab Builder for anyone who wants to develop a Tuff & Buff Torso."

Cycle Ab Builder, not sold in stores, available only by calling the following number: 801-216-6343, please have your credit card handy, operators are standing by.

Ozone Depletion Causing More Havoc
A recent discovery has exposed more chemical toxins adding to the air pollution over our nation's largest cities. As the ozone layer weakens allowing more UV.radiation to penetrate our atmosphere, common man-made products are starting to break down
chemically and emit deadly airborne pathogens. The lastest of these common man-made products to be added to the list of deadly air pollutants is asphalt. Asphalt
contains a petrolium based chemical named Salydie 147, which under normal conditions is harmless in Asphalt. However, when exposed to high levels of UV. radiation from the sun, Salydie 147, goes through a chemical metamorphosis and becomes Salydead 2B9, a deadly atomized areosol thats 1000 times more destructive to the ozone than if all the gasoline internal combustion engines in the world were running at the sametime. Increased levels of UV. radiation has also had an effect on common man-made items found around the home, such as plastic. Miles Hyensky,
Toxicologist at the Ozone Research Center (ORC.) in St. George, Utah had the following to say about common household plastic and the effects of prolong UV. radiation exposure.

"Common household plastic used to be a harmless item to have around the house but not anymore. With today's depleted ozone layer letting in even more potentially harmful UV. radiation, even a plastic flower pot sitting in a window sill can be effected and morphification can take place causing toxic airborne pathogens to be emitted throughout the home. These atomized gases are invisable and ordorless
to the senses but exposure for even the shortest periods of time can cause headaches, eye irritation, nasal congestion, runny nose and irritablity. Apparantly, we're caught up in a vicious cycle, as our ozone depletes letting in higher and higher levels of UV. radiation and more and more man-made products break down chemically and emit atomized toxic gases that pollute our air-supply even more, there seems to be little hope that life on our planet will survive much more than a few
decades."

UV40, a bill set before congress to have everything man-made inspected for UV. radiation morphification has failed to pass in the house 99 to 1.

Senator, Bill Miser (Independant) NY. stated the following when asked why he voted down bill UV40.

"Though we here in congress are deeply concerned about the ozone and our depletting air-supply, too many of us here in government have billions of dollars invested in the stock market and man-made comodities. A bill such as UV40 would
cripple production here in the Untied States and I and my colleiges here on Capitol Hill would lose everything!"

Global Warming Exposes Rare Find
Crew members aboard the ice-breaker vessel, UB. Fregot, on a scientific exploration mission to the North-Pole were shocked beyond belief when a pollar ice-cap collapsed right in front of their ship exposing 10,000 perfectly preserved corpses. Upon examination of the bodies it became apparant that none of the specimens were like any other Homosapiens ever discovered. Carbon-14 dating equipment aboard the UB. Fregot has placed the cadavers in the Mega-millennium BC., subhistoric age; far more remote in time than the Ice Man, a 90,000 year old male found in the French Alps in 1972.

Eric Von Lager, captain of the UB. Fregot, had this to say about his shocking experience at the North-Pole.

"In all my years of exploration I've never seen nor heard of any other find like this one. As our ship approached the Titan Glacier, a mile high wall of ice broke loose and collapsed into the sea right in front of us, exposing a perfectly stacked cube of bodies, 100 corpses high and 100 corpses wide. We knew that the Global Warming effect on the pollar-regions of the northern hemisphere were going to offer-up some archaeological treasures but we never anticipated anything like this."

Anthropologist, Rebecca Steinholder, head of the North-Pole expedition when asked for her views on the discovery stated the following.

"My observation of the bodies we've discovered at the North-Pole is startling to say the least. My professional opinion is that the humanoids we've found are by far the
oldest ever discovered but what concerns me is that the bodies are neither dead nor alive but instead, they're in some sort of suspended animation, or hybernation state. The bodies, all males are approx. 10 feet tall and have six fingers on each hand
and six toes on each foot. The strangest observation that I've made so far is the size of their eyes. The eyeballs are in huge sockets, and each one has two large, red glaring pupils that gives one a strong sense of uneasiness when in their presence. My conclusion is that this subhistoric race is an army of fierce warriors waiting
to be awaken for some predefined battle, perhaps Armageddon, we just can't tell at this time."

News crews from every network are booking flights to Juneau, Alaska for further passage to the archaeological site at the North-Pole.

Space-Age Wireless Electricity
In this modern-age of cell phones and satellite radios, the only thing that seems to be missing is wireless electrical current. Well not anymore!

In an experimental living enviornment in Searchlight, Nevada, nuclear physicist, Neuman Atomo and his research team have proven to the scientific community that electrical current can be transmitted wirelessly, and done so at such a super-low voltage and amperage that it's just as safe, and just as ecconomical as today's wireless Internet.

The principle behind Atomo's wireless electricity stems from what Nazi scientists developed during World War II, when they tried to create artificial lightening. The Nazis focused on super-amplification of amperage but failed, whereas Atomo works with microwave particle fusion and has succeeded!

In layman's terms; microwave atoms are passed through a sub-zero enviornment and them projected through the air via-radar transmission. This instantaneous fusion with
ions in the atmosphere creates a chain-reaction whereby the microwave particles are converted to super-low charged (v=.05/amp.=.001) neutrons and protons.

Atomo's wireless electricity is presently being transmitted via a modified radar module, and the only thing needed to receive his revolutionary, new wireless power is a shoe-box size induction transformer (voltage increaser-v=115/amp.=20), equipped to receive super-low charged neutrons and protons from the atmosphere (a product of Atomo Wireless Power Company).

Atomo's vision for the future is that one day nuclear powered satellites will circle the globe generating and transmitting his wireless electricity to the world for free, making it a brighter and happier place for us all.

Atomo Wireless Power Co.
P.O. Box 900-9a
Searchlight, Nevada, 89107
801-216-6343

All Atomo products are registered under the following US. patents: Library Of Congress, Patent Office, Catalogue No.
990506, 976327, 976320, 976300

Meteor Downs Airliner Over Tehran
A 747 Starliner that discintigrated at 30,000 feet do to a breach in its structural integrity and subsequent loss of air-pressure over Tehran, Iran, last week has been labled an unpreventable freak accident. A micro size meteor has been discovered lodged deep within the fusalodge of the aircraft containing aluminum alloy filings
apparantly fused to its surface upon impact with the Starliner.

Professor Habib Hi Hemib, head of the Aerial Crash And Investigative Research Center (ACAIRC) in Tehran said, " The meteor though micro in size was traveling
aprox. 20,000 kilometers per second as it entered the earth's atmosphere and possibly generated temperatures in excess of 10,000 degrees fahreheit before it collided with the aircraft."

Asked if this type of mid-air collision with a meteor has possibly ever happened before, or will ever happen again, a spokesman for Cresent Starliner Airlines,
Saad Adalib Hepib said,

"It's foolish to think that this type of disaster has ever happened before, and
perposterous to think that it will ever happen again because as we all know, 99% of all meteors burn up in the earth's atmostphere long before they reach an altitude
of 30,000 feet and into the flight path of today's passenger airliners."

Space Probe Returning To Earth With Deadly Contamination
It has been reported by the Space Center in China that a space probe launched in 1998, on a ten year round-trip exploration voyage to Ferno, a small astroid that orbits the sun every three-hundred years is returning. However, instruments on board the craft have detected an inorganic metallic element fused to the hull of the vessel.

Astrophyisis, Hee Noes, head of CSC. stated the following at an emergency meeting in Bejing, China on Tuesday.

"Our instruments have detected that some sort of inorganic metallic element (IME) has fused with our space probe and is going to enter the earth's atmosphere when the craft returns on June 8th, 2008. Calibrated toxicity analyzers aboard the craft have indicated that the metallic element is composed of 90% Berillium Deathea 213, a radioactive isotope type substance found only in deep space and is deadly to all life here on earth. Since there is no known defense against this type of deadly contamination, it is our hope that it will burn up upon entering the earth's atmosphere."

International concerns about the incoming space probe have reached hysterical proportions and demands from the Soviet Union, as-well-as the United States to shoot the killer space probe down have gone unheeded by the officials at China's Space Center.

Many at the United Stated Space Agency (USSA) believe that shooting the deadly probe down would spread the toxic radioactive element throughout the atmosphere and cause a wider catastrophy than if the space probe landed on its own.

Please stay tuned for further updates on this pending disaster.

War On Drugs, Tell-All Book
Federal agent, Samuel Krane who was fired from the agency for protesting the War on Drugs has written a tell-all book that may cause several heads to roll in the Federal Government. According to Krane, there have been 30 million U.S. citizens arrested for drugs over the past 50 years (many of them minors). This is unacceptable since the War on Drugs program was initciated in 1952 to safe-guard Americans from drugs, especially American children. There have been 5 million cases of drug over-dose leading to death, 15 million long prison terms given to Americans whose lives were ruined by drugs, and 10 million Americans who are presently addicted to drugs in one form or another. Krane also claims in his tell-all book that each and every American whose lives have been afflicted by drugs should file a class action lawsuit against the Federal Government for pathedically and miserably failing to win the War on Drugs after being engaged in it for over 50 years, and spending a whopping 200 billion dollars of tax payer's money fighting it. Yolanda Mentidosa, spokesperson for the agency fighting the War on Drugs stated the following about Krane's tell-all book. "Samuel Krane's tell-all book exaggerates the facts. We've built over 20 new prisons in the past 50 years, and yes, we have short-comings but this is do to the agency being understaffed and underfunded! We need more money to continue the War on Drugs and it's each and every American citizen's obligation to do what they can to help us."

Massacre Not Gang Related
The bloody massacre of twenty-five members of the
Wolf Pack gang by rival gang member Felix Mortos of the Pajaros,
was deemed a random act of violence and not gang related by Raymond Estra, police
chief of the Boardertown, Police Department.

According to testimony given by Mortos, he was only cleaning his
automatic assault rifle when it accidentally discharged and fired
150 rounds of high grain ammo at the Wolf Pack gang members which
subsequently and accidentally killed twenty-five of them.

Mayor Juan Pedro of Boardertown, has assured the public that gang
violence is on the decline and that this accidental shooting is
nothing to be concerned about.

Felix Mortos has been charged with discharging a firearm in public
and accidental homicide, he is scheduled for arrangement on Wednesday.

UFO Video Filmed Over Japan
A UFO. video taken over Tokyo, Japan, maybe the scientific evidence that ufologists have been waiting for to prove that we are not alone in the universe. Avi Lewma an amateur video-camera-operator claims that he filmed the unidentified flying object while picnicking in the country-side with his family. The following is Avi Lewma's incredible story.

"Me and my family were on a picnic in the country-side when the ear-shattering rumble of a super-sonic propulsion system caught our attention. We all looked
up into the sky and there it was, off in the distance, a flying disk shaped space-craft moving at such a lightening-fast speed that it could only be videoed for a second or two before it vanished out-of-sight. One thing that I will never forget about it was the way it maneuvered through the sky. When it first appeared, it flew into view and then hovered for a short while. Then all of a sudden, it flung itself backwards at a 30 degree angle, did a vertical circle in the sky, then shot out of view at a fantastic rate of speed. There was no doubt to all of us that it was a UFO. because nothing the military has can maneuver through the sky or even travel at such a mega-super-sonic air-speed as that."

Avi Lewma's UFO. video has been taken to the Department Of Aerial Phenomenon (D.O.A.P.) in Tokyo, Japan, where it has been viewed and analyzed by ultra-highly trained digital media and aeronautic specialists. Dora Doutts, head of the department had the following to say about Avi Lewma's UFO. video.

"At first, I and my team of specialists were fascinated when we saw the object in the video perform amazing aerial maneuvers. It was certainly something that none of us had ever witnessed before. Apparently though, the object in the video was filmed at a great distance from the cameraman who made no attempt whatsoever to zoom in on the object. This made it impossible for us to define any extraterrestrial-characteristics, or markings. Upon processing the UFO. video frame by frame under ultra-super-mega-magnification (power x=1,000,000,000) we were shocked beyond belief at what we saw. Obviously, when Avi Lewma was filming his family in the country-side, a small fruit fly entered the camera's panoramic-spectrum and view-finder, it then did a few aerial acrobatics and flew-away. I'm afraid that's all it was, nothing more."

Avi Lewma still insists that what he and his family saw in the country-side that day was a UFO., no matter what the D.O.A.P. says!

Short Stories

Hereditary Memory Transfer
Have you ever entered an unfamiliar place and all of a sudden felt that you'd been there before; or, a particular event was about to take place and you already had a preconceived notion of what was going to happen? These types of psychic impressions and premonitions happen to people all over the world everyday but up until a few years ago, science was at a loss to explain paranormal experiences of this nature.
In March, of 2008, Professor Lawrence Orison, PHD. at the Subliminal Institute Of Human Consciousness, developed a technique by which the nucleus of a brain cell could be analyzed and compared to a previous specimen within the same genealogy. His genetic research in this new field shocked the scientific community beyond belief but they could not doubt his findings. He proved to the world that memories can be passed from one generation to the next by way of Hereditary Memory Transfer.
How far back in time one can recall details of an ancestor's life is still being formulated by Professor Orison and his research team at the institute. Experiments in thought regression and recalling memories from the past under hypnosis have shown promising signs that maybe the key that unlocks the human mind to science, and solves the mystery of its complexity.
So far it is known that under the right conditions, a normal healthy individual can tap into a library of historical knowledge stored away in anyone of their millions of brain cells. This information can take the form of either a male or female perspective, meaning that memories from both sides of the gender spectrum are inherited; and what keeps these memories active is that they are passed from one brain cell to the next genetically as each completes its cellular life cycle.
Professor Orison has proven that Hereditary Memory Transfer can generate dreams, make one think that they personally have lived a past life, or even make one associate psychically with a member of the opposite sex through TGM. (Trans-gender Memories).
Professor Orison, PHD. also concludes that Hereditary Memory Transfer or the misunderstanding of it has given humanity the false hope of a life after death. Because what the human intellect perceives as a transitory existence and the passing of the spirit into another realm (or dimension) after death, is in reality, a subliminal or subconscious recollection (or present day perception) of what has already transpired in the past, during the lifetime of ones own departed ancestor as indicated by the ancient biblical passage below:
Job:7:9: As the cloud is consumed and vanisheth away: so he that goeth down to the grave shall come up no more.

The Canine Connection
Based on a real life story
The following testimony is one man's incredible story of how he was cured of chronic back pain by an animal. As the facts unfold, they will appear to be fictional in nature, however, the author has signed a written affidavit and has also agreed to submit to a lie detector test upon request.

My name is Ben Malo and I am an ancient history enthusiast. In my spare time, I read anything that I can get my hands on about lost civilizations, their religions, and especially, the ancient Egyptian mysteries. These subjects have fascinated me as long as I can remember.
It doesn't take much reading about ancient Egypt to learn that the people in those days worshipped the Jackal, a member of the canine family. It's depicted in almost all of their hieroglyphics and picture writing. What's boggled my mind, ever since I was a boy, is why would anyone choose to worship a dog? It's written about in the bible as a loathing, lowlife creature that laps up vomit and human carnage, so what could man's best friend offer in the way of a god, a deity, or for that matter, anything else other than a faithful companion?
By pure chance, perfect timing, and the alignment of every variable known to the ancient Egyptians who worshipped the Jackal, I, Ben Malo discovered the sacred mystery of the canine connection.
The year was 1997, and I was living with my elderly father in Big Woods, Louisiana . Around 10:00 am. one morning, my father and I were standing under the car port wondering, and discussing where his dog (Blue) had ran off to. It hadn't been seen in over a week and my father was becoming quite concerned about it. I happened to glance out across the front acreage of the house and as I did, I spotted another dog eating something in the grass. My father noticed the stray dog too and he began to shout at it. I immediately said, "Wait, that might be your new dog, you never know!" As I spoke those words, I proceeded to walk over and see what the dog had been eating in the grass. To my surprise, the dog did not grab its meal and run away, instead it came over and sat down beside me as if it had known me from somewhere. The dog took a liking to my father too, so we welcomed it into our family and took care of it.
As the days went by, the dog became a real source of pleasure for my father and I, and its presence helped my father get over the loss of losing his old dog. My father named the new dog Nick. Why? I'll never know. I personally wanted to name it something more sophisticated. It was about knee high, no particular breed and reminded me of a dog that I had owned in 1972, named Pharaoh. I can't recall ever calling the new dog Nick, when I wanted to get its attention, I would just make some physical gesture, or some audible sound and it would perceive my beckoning. I'm not one who believes that an animal can understand what a person says. I think they're beyond that and spoken words only confuse what they naturally perceive mentally, like mental telepathy, and our new dog Nick, excelled in telepathic communication.
Oftentimes, Nick and I would take long walks out in the woods at night with only the light of the moon to see by and he never ran off and left me, he was always just a step or two a head of me, guiding me safely through the night.
Nick and I connected on some sort of mental frequency, or channel of instinct that I had never known existed. I'd had many other dogs in the past but never experienced anything like that before. Maybe it was my mind that hadn't developed enough to be able to perceive any psychic impressions from animals, I couldn't say but it happened with Nick, and it was astounding to say the least!
One day while I was doing some research into the ancient Egyptian mysteries, I came across a hieroglyphic (picture symbol) of a Jackal, it was holding a scepter (wand) as if it had some sort of mystical, or magical powers. It brought to mind the question that had been haunting me for years, why would anyone worship a dog? And why would the ancient Egyptians base their religion on such a practice? Just then, I thought about Nick, if I was ever to discover the answer to this mystery, surely, Nick was the perfect canine to experiment on.
I moved out of the house and moved into my motor home secluded in the woods as not to cause any suspicion as to my plans. Surely, if anyone found out what I was up to they'd lock me away in a padded cell. I was going to elevate Nick's lowlife status as a dog to that of an ancient Egyptian god, worship him and see what would happen.
I began right away! I turned the bunk in the motor home into a throne for Nick, and I slept on the floor at his paws. When it was time to eat, I always served Nick his food first before I ate, and always let him eat his fill, even if that meant less for me. After dinner, I messaged his paws and put him to sleep, and never let him out unless it was absolutely necessary, and even then I never let him out of my sight. At night I would visualize mental connotations and try to transfer them to Nick by way of mental telepathy. I did everything that I could to try and make him feel like a pagan idol, a deity and my canine god.
As time went by, I could see a change coming over Nick. It's hard to imagine an animal with a state of consciousness but it appeared that Nick's overall perception was advancing, and going through different levels of awareness, and though I had no concrete evidence that the experiment was working, I knew that I was onto something, so I didn't let up! I even began bowing to Nick as he laid on his throne (the bunk).
I had no idea where all this was leading, or what the Egyptians had gotten out of it but it was intriguing and I really got into it.
After about three months of kneeling on the floor and bowing to the dog (his highness) it really began taking a toll on my physical body. I had suffered for years with arthritis, stiff joints and an extreme lower back pain. Everyday was a regiment of taking over the counter pain killers, and anything that would ease my suffering. One night while in the motor home (Nick's temple) I found myself in excruciating lower back pain, it was intolerable and to make matters even worse, I was also out of pain killers. I knew that there was no way I was going to be able to sleep on the floor that night, so I laid down on Nick's throne next to him, with a thought of hope in my mind that it wouldn't interfere with the experiment.
I could feel Nick's paws touching my back and I thought that he would pull them away but he didn't. To my surprise, he then moved his legs and placed all four of his paws on my lower back exactly where the horrible pain was coming from. All of a sudden, Nick pushed against my back with his paws and I could feel them heat up like a heating pad, and just as it seemed that they couldn't get any hotter, I swear that some sort of energy field began to radiate from out of his paws and into my back making all the pain in my body subside.
I knew that this must have been the reason why the ancient Egyptians had worshipped the Jackal, because they possessed the mystical power and ability to be able to cure the human body of common ailments associated with aging. It made since, there were no pain killers or prescription drugs in ancient times and any animal or creature that could do such miracles would be perceived as a god.
I drifted into sleep that night on Nick's throne feeling regenerated and years younger. The next morning when I got up, I couldn't help but notice that the stiffness in my joints was gone too. I felt young and vibrant like a teenager and when I looked into the mirror to shave, my eyes looked clear and bright, and had a youthful, energetic glow to them like a child's but I was in my late forties. It was incredible!
As the day wore on, I took Nick for a long walk through the woods, and we totally connected on a telepathic level. He instilled psychic impressions in my mind, and filled my thoughts with ancient secrets of the animal kingdom.
I was taught that not all animals can perform miracles, they too, like humans are evolving mentally and must pass through different levels of awareness to even become conscious that they possess such powers. Nick also mentally conveyed to me that we humans have lost touch with our own natural instincts, and natural healing abilities because we have been side tracked by our religious beliefs. We base our perception of life on the scriptures that we read and they teach that natural healing and mystical powers are a sign of witch craft, and sorcery, and not to many centuries ago, humans and animals alike were burnt alive at the stake by the church for possessing such powers! Everything we need is right here on earth within all of us but dormant now because of the way we perceive the world around us.
A few weeks later, I was called back to Las Vegas, Nevada on business matters and had to leave the ranch in Big Wood, Louisiana. Shortly there after, I received a phone call from my father that Nick was missing and a search for him had turned up nothing.
That was over five years ago and I swear that I still haven't experienced any lower back pain or stiffness in my joints or taken any pain killers of any kind, not even an aspirin. I am very thankful to Nick, but emotionally touched that I will probably never see him again or be able to carry on anymore experiments into the ancient Egyptian mysteries without his guidance.
I swear that the aforementioned facts are true and correct under the penalty of perjury of the laws of the state of Nevada . January 21, 2008, Ben Malo.

A Realistic Look At Death
When the physical human body completes its cellular evolution and reaches the end of its life cycle, the biophysical and chemical elements that our body's are composed of are organically broken down in mass and density to their most minute molecular levels and used as a source of energy for other living organisms which exist within a microscopic realm.
These living organisms which exist within this microscopic realm are of the simplest and least complex forms of life. They too are living and evolving and completing their own particular life cycles.
Death is an end, not a beginning as some religious dreamers would have you believe. There has never been anyone who has returned from the grave and had their experience documented by modern science. All such stories of resurrection and after life adventures have come down to us from antiquity, as legends and superstitious, religious fantasy stories, none of which can be substantiated.
Experiences of reincarnation and the belief that the soul must pass through various stages of evolution to reach a higher plane of existence can be dismissed as Hereditary Memory Transfer,
a new science discovered by the researchers at the Subliminal Institute Of Human Consciousness.
Hereditary Memory Transfer, is the passing of memories through the genes of ones ancestors.
Modern science now knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no life after death. With this in mind, it is of the utmost importance that one lives their life to the fullest, and shares their love with the world
around them. There will be no judgment day by any imaginary God and there is no such thing as sin, so therefore, one should live a care free existence, free of guilt.
If you feel the compulsion to worship something, worship the world and the people around you. If you need to pray to someone, pray to
yourself and forgive yourself, after all, when you die the only thing that you can expect is that your descendants will cherish the memories that you pass on to them, and that's all.

Job:7:9: As the cloud is consumed and vanisheth away: so he that goeth down to the grave shall come up no more.

The Amazing Insect World (Part 1)
My name is Trent Dementia and by pure chance I discovered that Red Fire Ants have intelligence. This may sound incredible but it's true and after you've read my story, you'll believe it too.
Every morning around sunrise, I travel by foot to a salvage yard in north Las Vegas , Nevada . The journey only takes me an hour or so but along the way I explore the surrounding desert and all the magnificent creatures that dwell there. One morning, I discovered that a colony of Red Fire Ants had dug a small tunnel in the earth and piled millions of micro pebbles around its entrance. In awe and wonder, I watched as the small creatures went to and fro and brought supplies back to their nest, it was an awesome display of the magnificence of nature!
All-of-a-sudden, for some unknown compulsive reason, I picked up a baseball size rock that was close at hand and slammed it down as hard as I could right on the entrance to their cave, to this day, I still don't know why but I estimate that I must have killed or
maimed at least fifty of the little creatures! The ants that were left alive outside the cave were in a state of shock and near panic as they desperately tried to find shelter, and, the entrance to their nest. I couldn't resist the urge of stomping them to death, so I did but many of them refused to die and instead dug themselves out of the sand and tried to run away! Many other ants that had not been stomped on yet, ran to the aid of their comrades and helped pull them out of the burning sand. I stomped on all of them a few more times and then buried them whether they were dead or not in about six inches of sand and placed a rock (a head stone) on top of the heap, and with this task completed, I merrily continued on my way to work.
After about eight hours at the salvaging yard, I began my journey back home. As usual, I stopped by the local trading post and purchased two twenty-four ounce cans of Cameo Ice, 9.0. I left the trading post and popped open one of the beers and took a long cold swig of the suds. It really hit the spot too because by that time of the day the Nevada desert was scorching hot, well over a hundred degrees. Anyway, I continued walking, heading in the direction of the Fire Ants that I had pulverized earlier that morning, I was curious to see if they had rebuilt their tunnel entrance.
I made my way to the location of their colony and discovered that they had dug a new tunnel entrance about three feet from their old one that I had sealed off. This new tunnel was better fortified and had been dug on both sides of a small stone which I assumed they thought would prevent another cave in. I took the ice cold beer that I had in my hand and bent down and poured it directly into their nest via the tunnel entrance. The beer immediately foamed up and created a small pool around the tunnel entrance and trapped about twenty to thirty of the Red Fire Ants that had been caught by surprise in the mayhem. The trapped ants raised their front legs up out of the beer foam and stood up on their hind legs as if reaching for help. Believe it or not, other ants started showing up, and a few of them jumped off a small stone into the beer foam pool and pulled their comrades to safety. However, before they could get to far away, I raised my boot and stomped on them until I was sure that they were all dead! This gave me a very rewarding sense of accomplishment, and a powerful God like dominance, and as I meandered home drinking my ice cold beer, I wondered to my self if this was how God had been created in the imagination of mankind.
Well, needless to say, this went on for about two weeks. Every morning and every evening I would destroy their tunnel and kill as many of them as I could, and we really developed a God/peasant relationship. One morning, I eagerly arrived at their location expecting to find a new tunnel to destroy and at least a few ants to kill but the place was vacated and left just like it was the evening before when I had destroyed it. A feeling of abandonment soon came over me and I left the area disappointed, and feeling inferior. It was extremely hard for me to concentrate on my scavenging at the salvage yard that day and I couldn't wait to leave so I could revisit the little creatures that I had grown so accustom to inflicting pain and suffering on. When it was quitting time at the salvage yard, I quickly scurried along the trail to the area of the Fire Ant colony but upon arriving, I found nothing, again!
The shock of having nothing to destroy or kill was unbearable and I stomped my feet in disgust, and searched the vicinity with my eyes for them but all I saw was desert because all my little red friends had moved away (well-so-I-thought)! I stormed off heading southward but turned back around to say good-bye to the location where I had found so much pleasure and enjoyment killing my little friends, just then, I saw one of the Fire Ants removing micro pebbles and opening up a tunnel. I quickly raced back over to it hoping it would welcome me in but when it saw me it quickly resealed the tunnel entrance and scurried deep into the earth. I stood breathless for a few seconds and in a comatose state of shock, I couldn't accept the fact that my little red buddies didn't want me around anymore. I walked away feeling rejected and abandoned but hid behind a cactus plant to see if they would come out once again if I was gone.
From about twenty feet away and behind the cactus plant, I observed the area where I had last seen my little red friends. It was then that I realized that the Red Fire Ants knew how to tell time and knew what time, I would be passing by to destroy and annihilate them. I was awestruck thinking about the intelligence that they exhibited and how they had plotted against me. Just then, I noticed some movement in the sand within their sector. I remained silent not wanting to give away my position and peered around the cactus plant when it was clear to do so. I could see my little red buddies opening up their tunnel and racing out to hunt for food. I remained motionless hoping that one of their scouts wouldn't discover me and give away my coordinates to the others.
Within a short time, thousands of Red Fire Ants starting coming out of their nest. It was then that I noticed that one of their scouts was right behind me and had somehow alerted the others of my position, not long after that, the entire Fire Ant battalion started marching in my direction geared for battle. I seized hold of the scout ant that had given up my position and raised him up in front my face for questioning. I put him through the normal war time interrogation that anyone would expect in such circumstances but he refuse to talk, so I executed him by sticking him on one of the cactus plant thorns. I then started throwing stones at the charging Red Ant battalion trying to cause as many casualties as I could. When I could see that hundreds of their ranks had been killed I ran over and stomped to death thousands of their remaining troops. I even started lighting matches and throwing them on them like napalm!
The battle was fierce but the taste of victory was sweet and my God complex was regenerated in all its glory! I have since gained a high respect for the intelligence of Red Fire Ants but I still kill them (and every other insect as well) every chance I get. Trent Dementia

The Amazing Insect World (Part 2.)
The Price Of Blasphemy
I didn't return to the battle grounds where the backsliders had revolted against my divine authority for about six months. I wasn't going to return there at all but I had a change of heart. I don't know if it was my compassion or my love for the little ones that drove my thoughts and made me return but one day I did stop by to see if the Red Fire Ants had repented of their sins against me. I got up at sunrise one morning and scurried down the bunny trail heading in the direction of the battle grounds. I was in a very good mood and it was a beautiful day. Everything was going so well that day that I hoped my subjects (the ants) wouldn't provoke my wrath like before and cause me to become an angry god again. This day was special and I didn't want anything to go wrong. It was a special day because I had planned a special ceremony and service to baptize the new borns of the congregation (colony). When I was about 50 feet from the village where the ants lived, I could see something up in front of me; as I got close enough to see it clearly I almost lost my halo. It was a statue of a redheaded clown, who was holding a large hamburger in his hand, he also had the letter "M" carved into his chest. All my children were bowing to the pagan idol and paying homage to it. All of a sudden, my wrath became kindled and I raised my boot over them and slammed it down on top of as many of them as I could and squished them into the desert sand. I kept stomping on them until I could see their guts oozing out of their miserable shameless carcasses. I then took my belt off from around my waist and began whipping the ground trying to smash as many of them as I could before they got away. Whipping and stomping in a bloody frenzy of wrath, I must have killed about 15,000 of the filthy blasphemers and those who did get away were so terrified and traumatized that they will probably never recover emotionally. After about 20 minutes of punishing the evil doers, I came back to my senses. As I looked around, I could see the terrible carnage and damage that I had done to the Red Fire Ants but the thought of their great sin of having another god before me kindled my wrath again two fold and I began stomping on the dead ant carcasses until even their remains had been punished in to hell.

With this final episode of my wrath towards them delivered, I turned to punish their god, the redheaded clown holding the hamburger. At first, I cursed the false idol, then I bent over and picked up some rocks to stone the graven image into perdition. I hurled a large stone at the evil clown and as the rock struck the statue it made a pinging-ringing sound, the same kinda sound that metal makes when it's struck by something. I moved over to the statue so that I could take a closer look at it. When I did, I discovered that it was made out of pure gold. I was amazed again of how intelligent my subjects really were and I wondered what on earth else were they capable of? Just then! I heard the blast of a miniature Howitzer artillery cannon go off about .01 kilometers behind me and I felt the heat from a small artillery shell the size of a grain of Uncle Ben's Converted rice whiz by my head. As I looked around the battlefield I saw an entire battalion of tiny ant size tanks coming my way all raising the barrels of their Howitzers and aiming them right at me. I quickly grabbed the golden statue and began dragging it away towards the scrape metal yard where I worked.

The evil doers gave up chasing me when a squadron of incoming chirpers flew in from out of no where and began raiding their food supply. I saw about 3 of the incoming chirpers get shot down while I was making my get away but who cares, at least I was alive to fight another day. Upon arriving at the salvage-yard with the pagan idol, I found out by doing a chemical analysis on it that it wasn't real gold at all but some metallic alloy (fool's gold). At the bottom of the statue there was a manufacturer's address label that could not be completely deciphered, all that could be seen were the letters "R" and the letter "M," the rest of the letters were missing. It was quite clear to me then that my lost children were bigger sinners than I had thought because they even stooped so low in disgrace that they stole their own false god. This had to be avenged because they provoked all the hosts of heaven by what they had done. However, I wasn't sure how well armed the Red Fire Ants were but I knew that it wasn't just going to be a coup d'état that I was going to be up against but the battle of Armageddon.

The Cattle Molestation Case 
On a lonely Nevada highway, Mary Coontz sped along in her 1950 Rambler making her way back to Hermosa Beach, California. She had been covering a story about the strange cattle molestation case in Groom Lake, Nevada and was in a big hurry to submit her finished article to Crazy House Radio News. About ten miles south of Baker, Miss Coontz was distracted by a blinding flash of light that shattered the dark desert night. Her first impression of the disturbance was that her camera on the front seat of her car had gone off by itself. She pulled over to the side of the road, wiped her eyes and then picked the camera up sure that it was the cause of the blinding light. To her astonishment, the camera had been switched off earlier in the day and there was no possible way that it could have flashed in its off mode position. This left Miss Coontz in a very confused and nervous state of mind, she wasn't a timid women but the unexplained always haunted her. She looked up into the sky to see if there were any rain clouds that could have caused a flash of lightening but there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

All of a sudden! The supersonic blast of a rocket propulsion system began shaking her Rambler and throwing her around in the front seat of her car. The supersonic blast was so violent that Miss Coontz was knocked unconscious. Sometime later, Miss Coontz regained consciousness and crawled up onto the front seat of her car from the floor board. She could see that she was parked in what appeared to be a huge dome like metal sphere along with several other people in several other cars. Everyone was looking around in fear and bewilderment and like herself, no one knew where they were, or how they had gotten there. Miss Coontz located her camera and began taking pictures. She knew that what she was experiencing was incredible and that it would easily be aired on Crazy House Radio News, so she didn't want to miss a single detail.

From out of nowhere, two strange creatures appeared at Miss Coontz's car doors. The one on the driver's side where Miss Coontz was sitting waved its hand over the door handle and the door mysteriously opened. Miss Coontz then slid across the seat and as she did the other creature on the passenger's side of the car waved its hand over the door handle and the passenger side door mysteriously opened too.
According to Miss Coontz's testimony, the creatures that she encountered were not of the kind known as the Grays, or any other creature that she had ever heard about before. The creatures that she described were about four feet high, covered with hair and had numerous finger like tentacles protruding out their abdomens. One thing that she strongly expressed was that the creatures drooled continuously and gave off a putrid barnyard type stench.

Miss Coontz was taken out of her Rambler by the creatures, however, she managed to grab her camera. She was led against her will to an examination room and soon realized by her own observation that she was on some sort of alien space craft. Once inside the examination room Miss Coontz was strapped to a horizontal plank made out of some sort of extraterrestrial corrugated alloy. She was tied from the waist down, leaving her shoulders and arms free to move about. Her first thoughts were to start taking pictures, so she did. The creatures didn't seem to mind, in fact, Miss Coontz says that in a strange sort of way they encouraged it.
After a time, the two alien creatures left the examination room and a third creature entered. It, according to Miss Coontz was much larger than the others and had a large protruding face, and a long tongue that licked up into its nostrils. Miss Coontz began snapping pictures of the creature and she claims that it made the creature act very strangely. An opening in the creature's lower abdomen appeared and not long afterwards, a fleshy extension of its body began sliding forth out of a sheath like pocket that was positioned between two large hanging objects, in what looked like a skin sack. Miss Coontz later described the fleshy extension of the creature's body to be about twelve to fourteen inches long, and at least two and a half inches thick.

Miss Coontz raised her camera to get a snap shot of the creature's extending member but dropped her camera when the creature rammed it in her mouth and spurted out some extraterrestrial alien matter down her throat. Miss Coontz claims that she must have blacked out at that point because she doesn't remember anything after that except waking up in the hospital with severe blisters and bruises around her mouth.

Crazy House Radio News has obtained Miss Coontz's camera and has developed and analyzed her film, and though all of her pictures are over exposed, there is one however, that is somewhat in focus. It's a ground angle shot taken from a falling camera that shows the back of Miss Coontz's head and a long horned bull standing over her. No word as of yet from Miss Coontz as to what this symbolizes.

Please stay tuned to Crazy House Radio News for the latest details on this breaking alien abduction story.

The Seaweed Invasion
Could you imagine the consequences if a common weed took over the world and nothing could be done about it?
Well, that's what happening right now under the sea and the culprit is a sea weed called Caulerpa Taxifolia. A pretty, salt water aquarium plant that went through a mutant metamorphous and escaped to the sea in the early 1980's. Since then, it has smothered out hundred of square miles of the ocean floor and driven out all sea life in the area.
This killer sea weed was developed in the Wilhelmina Zoo in Stuttgart , Germany . It became an overnight success as an aquarium decoration and soon found its way though out the world by way of fish stores and suppliers.
The first report that this innocent looking sea weed was taking over the ocean floor was made by Alex Mendez, an experienced swimmer who was diving for ducats one morning in the Mediterranean sea . Mendez notified the local authorities of his discovery but they assumed that he had been smoking weed instead of discovering it, so all he could do was stand by and watch as the mutant algae consumed his favorite lagoon.
In June of 2000, 20 years after the discovery of Caulerpa Taxifolia in the Mediterranean, it was detected growing on the ocean floor in San Diego , California . A 11,300 square foot patch of the deadly algae was confirmed as a strain of the original source that was cloned as the aquarium decoration in Stuttgart , Germany .
In September, 2001, the governor of California , prohibited the possession and transportation of Caulerpa Taxifolia. He knew full well the consequences on the local economy if people started taking free samples home to their own aquariums without first paying for them at their local fish store!
In January 2002, an attempt was made to destroy this vicious sea weed from San Diego , California , and though a small patch of Caulerpa Taxifolia was killed off by saturating the ocean floor with common swimming pool chlorine, it also killed off everything that it came in contact with it making the eradication worse than the plant itself. One city councilmen in San Diego , suggested draining the ocean and letting the plant die of dehydration but others on the council objected noting a lack funds in their treasury.
In May of 2002, the killer sea weed was discovered taking over the coastline of southern Australia , but the local pigmies who dried and smoked the seaweed blessed it and now use it instead of their own cherished Cannabis.
As of April 2003, the killer aquarium decoration is totally out of control and rapidly spreading throughout the world. Its transported by fragments being set adrift in oceanic currents and nothing can stop it. It reproduces by a single sex (male) self cloning process and it doesn't need a female to reproduce. It has no natural predators (except pigmies now) and all other sea life (plant and animal) find it repulsive, so they evacuate the area where it grows which creates an ecological disaster in the vicinity.
It has been predicted that in less than 50 years from now there will be no marine life left in the sea if the sea weed invasion is allowed to continue on its present course!
The scientific community's biggest fear is that the Caulerpa Taxifolia will mutate once again and develop a fresh water strain of itself that will attack the wet lands, the rivers and the streams, thus, turning the earth into a stagnant and dying planet! Others who use Cannabis themselves feel otherwise!

Recycled Smokeless Tobacco
My name is Tex Colten and I 've been using smokeless (snuff, dip) tobacco for over ten years now and it's often occurred to me that the majority of the tobacco is being wasted. You take a pitch of the tobacco with your fingers and then place it between your cheek and gum, and then suck on it until all the favor is gone, then spit out the tobacco. What a waste, especially, since snuff tobacco is priced well over five dollars a can now and that might only last a big dipper, a day or so!
I also smoke hand rolled tobacco and it costs almost $2.25 a pouch now and going up. Taking these two economic woes into consideration and calculating that I spend approximately seven to eight dollars a day on tobacco, I decided to try an experiment that would cut my tobacco costs substantially but still keep me supplied with the same amount of nicotine that my metabolism requires on a daily basis.
My idea seemed strange at first, it had never been tried before to my knowledge, and I was going to be the first person to ever make a cigarette out of used and unwanted smokeless tobacco. I knew that if my idea was a success, then I would never have to buy another cigarette as long as I lived and the thought excited me!
I opened a fresh new can of my favorite snuff tobacco and took a man size pinch between my right thumb and forefinger, then, as I placed it between my cheek and gum, I skillfully followed underneath my fingers with the can, so that any falling crumbs wouldn't fall to the ground and be wasted. Wasting dip is taboo in the world of big dippers and being the pro that I am, I wasn't about to let any of the chaw (chew) go to waste.
I sucked on the