babysister138's Blog

         
          When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
         her someplace expensive.....so, I took her to a gas
        station..... and that's how the fight started....
         
           I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller
         Light for  $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for
         $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than
         the cold cream....... And that's how the fight started.
        
            After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to
         apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me
         for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my
         pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman
         that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back
         later.  The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.    So I
         opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said,
        'That  silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed  my   Social Security
        application.  When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
        Social Security office.  She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You
        might have gotten disability, too'......  And that's how the fight
        started.....
        
           My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
         reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as
         she sat alone at a nearby table.  My wife asked, 'Do you know
         her?'  'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand
         she took to drinking right after we split u p those many years
        ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'    'My God!' says my wife, 'Who
        would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'...... And that's
        how the fight started.....
         
           I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were
         alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his
        car.  You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things
         just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a
         DWARF!!!  He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and
        shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'  So, I  looked down at him and said, 'Well,
        then which one are you?'.......    And that's how the fight started.....
        
           I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
         reason, took my order first.  'I'll have the strip steak,
         medium rare, please.'  He said,   'Aren't you worried about
        the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for  herself.'...... And that's how
        the fight started.....
         

I was just looking at some of the balloons  from the Plano  balloon fest, and remembering the beautiful mornings, when Mesquite had a balloon fest. The early mornings, listening to the ballons heat  up and fill with hot air. The colors that filled the air like a rainbow  explosion. How sad we don't have that anymore.

We also don't have the fireworks show anymore.

Now we have a bike ride, and  the Real Texas festival. People come  from all over to see those, or do they?

I have heard rumors that the rodeo will go by the wayside as well, but that seemed to go downhill as soon as they enclosed it, and the real cowboys went elsewhere.

Sad all these things have been let go.

 

Former Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker and a popular disc jockey were critically injured in a Learjet crash in South Carolina that killed four people, authorities said Saturday.

Federal Aviation Administration spokeswoman Kathleen Bergen said the plane carrying six people was departing shortly before midnight Friday when air traffic controllers reporting seeing sparks. The plane went off a runway and crashed on a nearby road, she said.

Hospital spokeswoman Beth Frits said Barker and DJ AM, whose real name is Adam Goldstein, were in critical condition at a burn center in Augusta, Ga., about 75 miles southwest of Columbia.

Why hasn't  Chip, been in the Chopper?

where are all the news reporters going? Seems  I feel something in the wind... something strange going on..

Is  everyone on vacation   ending the summer? or  is it  something else. ?

Just finished my dessert  for after dinner, a delicious chocolate  "Waky" cake , mixed and baked all in one pan, and needs no milk or eggs!  also made some chocolate icing.. Hmmm   is there a full moon going on ? I have a need for chocolate!

The meatloaf is in the oven now. Guess I will have mashed potatoes, and some salad or something to go along with it .

Will take a shower  put on  my  "Diva" jewlery, ( thanks 2 tickets), and settle down for a nice relaxing dinner and quiet night.. Listen to some of the oldies music ,sent to me from Dallas. Flip through old scrap books, and remember of friends and family.

I was doing that last night ,and found a letter from Nancy Reagan, an autograph from Lane Frost, my drivers Ed certificate from 67, and a picture of me and my best friends, with Timmy Rooney(Mickey's son) think that was like 1964,  boy do I feel old! 

I am really trying to get lost in thought from all the crazy things people do, Like the girl in Florida that doesn't know where her daughter is.

Like the baby that was mauled by a dog because the 17 yr old mother was sleeping.

The mexican that should have been injected yrs ago for killing 2 girls.

Sometimes I just want happy news.

 

 

 

 

This is for all You Old Hippies

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuE7Ccjm3LY

From an e-mail sent to me,

---------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,
bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be
able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it
turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a
big frickin red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

Dumb ass.

I have yet to watch the Wendy Williams  show, and yet  I get stuck with seeing it on Extra, since it was on that channel when I walked in the room.

Why do Networks think these  2 loudmouthed people are  worth having on TV?

Omarosa is just an angry woman and Wendy I never heard of till all of a sudden she was on TV. 3I guess I am getting to old for loudmouth and brash  talk shows.

I saw a snipet of  the so called "Cat fight", and thought  no wonder girls act like they have no morals.

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man  opposite her was smiling at her.  She immediately moved to another seat. This  time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.  The man seemed more amused.  When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court.

 

The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this, when the lady got  on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. 

 

 

She sat down under  a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned.

 

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Logan 's Liniment will reduce
the swelling,' and I had to smile.

 

 

Then she placed herself under a  deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick," and I could hardly contain myself. 

 

 

But, Your Honor, when She moved the fourth time and  sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'...

 

 

 I just lost it."

"CASE DISMISSED!!"

 

> Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are
> interested in them?
> A: Try a bookstore-------under fiction.
>
> Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
> A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the
> basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
>
> Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is
> that true? Where can it be found?
> A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: 'And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to
> Egypt.'
>
> Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
> A: Tell him you're pregnant.
>
> Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly-----wrinkles?
> A: Take off your glasses.
>
> Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those
> wrinkles on my face?
> A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
>
> Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
> A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
>
> Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term
> memory storage?
> A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.
>
> Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
> A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
>
> Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
> A: On their foreheads.
>
> Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they
> enter antique stores?
> A: 'Gosh, I remember these.'

Is anyone watching "America Got Talent"?

There was a dance group on last night, 22 kids from Texas  is what I heard, and the Choreographer is a guy named Justin.

He looks like the kid that lived down the street, from me  here in Mesquite.

Way back whe the kids were in school, He was helping the girls with cheer leading, and dance moves  for their drills.

I am hoping  this is the kid and his troop, theywere great, and set on to the semi finals in Vegas.

 This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women  cope with     
the stress that builds during the day:                                    

   Breakfast                                              
                 
   1 grapefruit                                             
               
   1 slice whole wheat toast                                               
   1 cup skim milk                                                   
      

   Lunch                                                  
                 
   1 small portion lean, steamed chicken                                   
   1 cup spinach                                                
           
   1 cup herbal tea                                                    
    
   1 Hershey's kiss                                                   
    


   Afternoon Snack                                                  
       
   The rest of the Hershey kisses in the bag                               
   1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate chips                      

   Dinner                                                 
                 
   4 glasses of wine (red or white)                                        
   2 loaves garlic bread                                                  
 
   1 family size supreme pizza                                             
   3 Snickers Bars                                                   
      

   Late Night Snack                                                  
      
   1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the Freezer)          

Remember: Stressed spelled backward is desserts.

A very old man lay dying in his bed. In
death's doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip
cookie wafting up the stairs.


He gathered his remaining strength and
lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way
out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs,
gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the
door frame,  gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would
have thought himself already in heaven.


There, spread out upon newspapers on the
kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip
cookies. 


Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of
heroic love from his  devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy
man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. The
aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a  cookie at the edge of the
table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his
wife. 


'Stay out of those,' she said. 'They're
for the funeral.'

                                                       
                                                       
                                                

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter.


The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.


The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about 9 inches high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well.

He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano.


The little man sits down at the piano, and starts playing a beautiful Piece by Mozart!


'Where on earth did you get that?' says the bartender.


The man responds by reaching into the paper bag.


This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says : 'Here. Rub it.'


So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him.


'I will grant you one wish.. Just one wish... each person is only allowed one!'


The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, 'I want A million bucks!'


A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed by another duck, then another.


Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they just keep coming, duck after duck after duck!


The bartender turns to the man and says, 'Y'know, I think your Genie's' a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million Ducks.'


'No s#@$!!' says the man, 'do you really think I asked for a 9 inch pianist?'

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
 JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
 HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me
. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
 COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
 AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
 JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
 AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
 DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
 PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
 MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
 DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told
. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
 BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
 ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra(c)#@&&^(C%..........reboot.
 ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
 COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?