Susannah Locketti's Blog

PMS makes you overanalyze a perfectly innocent email, or become paranoid about the person’s thoughts…you assume the worst…and then become angry for no apparent reason. The worst thing you can do at the onset of this symptom is return an email. Simply unplug the computer and step away from the keyboard. My friends have learned not to email me the third week of the month.

When the sun rises you’re pissed…no apparent reason…just pissed off. The endless ringing of the phone makes you want to rip it out of the wall…so you do… this is the week you [...] about all the lights left on in the house…the tv’s left blaring…the video games…the dogs barking…this is the week you want to avoid a parent/teacher conferences…and don’t answer the phone.

Once a month every woman has a good cry and PMS is the perfect week for it. If it happens on a rainy day, god help you. I’d pop in the Les Miserables sound track and really set the mood. This is the week when our husbands and co-workers think we are crazy. God forbid all women in the office end up on the same cycle…yikes!

Aka..screaming and yelling. If you work in customer service…this is the week you take a vacation or call in sick. Do not deal with the public. This is the week my kids call “Godzilla Week”. I yell at the dogs, my kids, my husband, my co-workers, my friends…essentially everyone.

You have to feel sorry for the grooms that have their bride PMSing the week of their wedding or honeymoon. That happened to me and there was a category five hurricane during the honeymoon…no lie.

We were also without running water and were barricaded in a villa for five days confined to one room. You can imagine given these luxurious circumstances that I was a joy to be with…an absolute premenstrual category six bucket of joy…