Pablo_Kielbasa's Mombasa

Dizzy Liberal Chick thinks Reading Glasses give her an Implied Air of Authority


OMG! That is so f-ing racist!

CALIGULA, MS - Caligula Mississippi liberal student/activist Melissa Mann admitted that she wears intimidating horned rim reading glasses just to "intensify my points" on her seemingly boundless agenda of liberal academia. Mann describes:

"America is broken. Do you understand the meaning of broken?" exasperated the 19 year old Mann "These glasses give me the prescribed authority to be heard, and make things right. America is riddled with racism, sexism, xenophobia, homophobia and bigotry, and needs to be fixed now! Global Warming is threatening my personal future, I mean, like, OMG...WOW, and I have a legal right to control my own personal future, right?!...well, duh! And don't give me any crap, you bigot-sexist-neocon-homophobic-racists, and I damn well mean it!

Indeed, Mann is not alone.

Seeming droves of young, pampered and coddled liberal chicks have donned the aggressive themed Bella Abzug-esque reading frames over the last 5 years, clearly illustrating their seriousness and commitment to stomp out racism, sexism, global warming, homophobia and xenophobia with no sense of social indignation, cultural remorse, natural human repugnancy, scientific accuracy or without even fully knowing what these college 101 freshman invoked terms really mean. Why reading frames project such stern countenance is not widely agreed upon, although many psychologists think that they mimic a librarian air that suggests learned authority and societal control.

"Global Warming and Bush are synonymous!" piped Mann, even though her parent funded Toyota SUV, 3 bedroom apartment, big screen theater plasma TV and otherwise energy gobbling collegiate party lifestyle spoke anything but conservation, and that "racism is a myth propagated by conservatives and a social evil that must be stomped out now!", even though she candidly admits that she would easily consider dating a black guy, but that kids were strictly out of the question for "artistic reasons."

No word was out when reading glasses and liberalism would naturally fall out of vogue, but Mann promised "If you think for a minute that I'm wearing these glasses just to be sexy and as a fetish object for men to splooge on, you are way off base, and plus, remember that those ill-fated underwire bras of the 90's never said "stare at me too long and I'll rip your eyeballs out" when you wore them anyway!"