Ms. Vera

Partying and Parenting - Please Just Pick One Current mood: angry A Tennessee mother is charged with negligent homicide after leaving her children, ages 4 and 7 children alone in an apartment while she went to a New Years Eve party and the children died in a fire. Are you ready - because here I go... What the 'freak' is wrong with people.

There is something wrong with our world, generation and good common sense when a mother, a 29 year old mother at that, feels it's more important to go out and party on New Years Eve than it is find a capable sitter for her child, or yet, just stay home.

Rule of thumb here, if you can't find a baby sitter, guess what - you can't go! I'm going through a transition of my own right now and for the last three years I haven't done much.

Now, I'm not the party type anyway, but I do like going to hear live bands, sit a the coffeehouse and meet up with friends. I've been out a little more than normal the last few months, but that's going to calm here soon because it's just not my thing.

With that said, enter Christian - my sweet baby: most important man in my life. He's three years old and needs the love and attention of his mother. But if I want to go out, my mother & father, his grandmother, or two of my friends (there only two I'm comfortable leaving him with) will watch him.

I think everyone knows I don't go out much, so usually they'll watch him. Also, they know I'm here alone and I'm not trying to pull some "poor single mom" card, but I kick butt at taking good care of him, playing with him, disciplining him, and taking time out just to spend with him. So, I deserve a break and some adult activities every once in a while (you can only take so much Chuck E Cheese)

But when I do go out, I am responsible. I know where he is and decide before hand what time I'll most likely to return (unless he's spending the night). Is it me, or is this too hard for some people? If I want to go out and my mother doesn't want to watch him, guess what - I stay home. If there's somewhere I really want to go, I may ask one other person, but I'm not calling 20 people to watch my kid just so I can go shake my butt.

So, it gets better. The now 4 and 7 year old fire victims are dead. But get this - they don't even live with her! They live with their grandmother in Mississippi and were visiting their mother for the holidays! So, you mean to tell me that you don't even get to see your babies everyday, they come up to be with you for the holidays and you STILL have the audacity to leave them home alone while you go out and "get yo' party on?" If she were a man, I'd still be pissed, but I'd would expect it. Men do crap like that. "Oh, I miss my kid."

But soon as they pick 'em up and spend like an hour with 'em, they drop them off at the momma's house so they can go "kick it with they boys." But this is a mother. You birthed these children, and now they're dead because you failed at your only job - the preservation of their live. Parenting, apparently, wasn't as important as partying. But it hasn't be a priority for her anyway considering they live in another state. Bottom line: you don't leave children to party.
That goes for people who do find babysitters too! Yeah, I said it! I'm talking about these folk who feel the need to go out "EVERY" flippin' night and not be there to read a book, or put your child to sleep. Like Chris Rock said, "if you said more to him than 'mommy be back'" maybe he'll turn out to be worth something.

All I'm saying is stop. Take a look at what's important. They need us. Men, you need to stop too. Just because your girl is home with your baby don't mean it's okay for you to go out all the time. Grow the hell up and help a sista out.

I'm done.

Fire at will....