Clarity in a world of chaos

I know this might rub some the wrong way, and the chances that it will change anything is 0.000000000000001%, but I think something needs to be said.

 

Like many I know, including myself- I am the product of a single parent home.  My father was one of those sorry men who rolled out on the mother, and didn't send a nickel in support for 18 years.  We did well without it; would have done well with it- but didn't get it.  I doubt many kids in my class, at least 90% of which were in the same category.  Mom raised the kids; dad was off doing his thing. My dad was so slick; he'd deny being who he was, anytime someone tried to serve him with a subpoena. He'd say he was "his brother" (he was an only child), and therefore, never went to court, and never paid a nickel.  I've never seen him, and only talked to him on the phone once. Back then, child support was what- $50 a week. ($200/month)? Yet, men still shirked that financial responsibility. 

 

Back on task though,

 

Fast forward 38 years later, and I'm proud to say every man I know, whether with the woman or not- is taking care of his children- be it through private arrangement with the mother, or through court order.  While I'm sure there are still sorry, child-support dodging men out there- there are some who handle their business, and could not be torn away from their child's lives, let alone willingly depart from it.

 

In the last three years, three men I know have been NAILED TO THE WALL with child support payments. Another I know, if he hasn't been served or if arrangements haven't been made, will probably get that knock on the door any day now.  My question is, WHY SO MUCH?

 

One guy was hit for $775 for one kid, another was hit for $1,200 for two, and the last one was nailed for $1,200 for his twins.  About 25% of their bring-home pay.

 

Having recently left the formula and diapers phase of parenthood, and knowing what I know about daycare, I know it's not cheap.  In fact, take your child to a daycare such as Crème De-la Crème, and you'll fork over +/- $250 a week in daycare- for infants anyway.  But- to hit a joker (who prior to a court date, could not afford that) with a bill like that is incredible.  Once a child is out of diapers, not drinking Similac, and starts preschool- they don't cost that much to raise. (I've raised another child from 5 - 18, wasn't mine- but I raised him...) so I know a little bit about what I'm talking about.

 

So, can someone tell me why a judge would see fit for a man (or woman) to part ways with 20 - 25% of their net income as a child support payment?  While I'm sure Troy Aikman, Deion Sanders and guys like that may spend hundreds of dollars a month on their children.  However, the average Joe & Jane do not.  This man (or woman) still has to live- so, can someone explain why the custody winning parent needs $600, $700, $1,200 or more in child-support? 

 

Splitting everything 50/50 is understandable, or even percentage wise based on income is to (Say the man makes 80K, woman makes 40K; the man would pay 66.6% of the normal monthly expenditures, while the wife paid 33.3%. That would be fair.  I just do think today's system is fair at all.

 

I think it's just as much "Wife (or husband) Support" as it is child support.  Another girl I know, as soon as the child support payments started coming in, went from a Kia Spectra to a loaded Chevy Tahoe.  Somehow, I doubt Junior is seeing much of that $725 a month she's getting in child support- other than riding in Mom's new Tahoe on the weekends.  What are Tahoe's now a day, $35,000 - $40,000?  Even on a lease, she's paying $525 - $600 a month.

 

Those are just examples.  Thank God, I don't have that problem; but I know anything can happen to anyone.  I know losing 25% of my net would be "lifestyle changing" money for me.  The man still has to find a place to stay, and pay the bills he already has.  Bills they probably made together.

 

I'm sure some of the financial suffrage men endure today, is due to the lack of responsibility in the parenting men of the 60's, 70's, and 80's. The problem is, the screws are being put to the responsible men who step up, today.

 

I'm not saying our kids aren't worth the money.  I'm sure if we all had the $, there's nothing we wouldn't do for our kids.  However, the vast majority of us aren't millionaires, so responsibility needs to be taken with a dose of reason. 

 

Call me crazy, but I think the man gets the short end of the stick, when it comes to child support., 20% - 25%?   Why? I owe you an SUV because you have my child?  That’s not right.  Judges?  What are you thinking about?

 

What do you think Dallas?  How much is enough?  How much is too much?

 

 

On top of everything you have on your plate today- how easy would it be for you to lose 20% - 25% of your bring home pay? Is that reasonable?