Executivemom's Blog

Tonight, as my 15 year old (going on 30) daughter was walking out of the house dressed in her Halloween costume for a party, her 10 year old brother said "She's not leaving the house looking like that mom!?  She was dressed as a "Dark, Gothic Angel".  Cute costume - short skirt.  She's in high school and I had to think twice about allowing her to wear what she had on but it wasn't "too" bad.

But, what about the costumes these days for the younger kids?  As I was growing up - it was all about the blood and gore and scary stuff.  Even for my son, the more gruesome you can make it the better but what has happened to the little girls costumes?  I mean girls as young as 6-7 years old.  Who are designing these things and why?

Forget pirates and pumpkins, Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} this year, it's easier than ever to dress your six-year-old in a sleezy costume. This disturbing trend in costumes for kids has taken a scary turn -- almost all of them are revealing and sexy. Newsweek reports halter tops, bare midriffs, miniskirts and knee socks are what moms are finding when shopping for a costume for their girls: "It seems almost to verge on child pornography, and ooze with attitude. A girl isn't an Army cadet, she's a 'Major Flirt,' and who knew that female firefighters wore fishnet stockings?!" Are trends in costumes just following pop culture (thanks Brit, Christina, Miley!), or is this a natural progression in girls today.

Whatever the answer -- don't be surprised if an eight-year-old dominatrix shows up at your door!

As a parent, I'm disturbed by the trend and the acceptance of it....what about you? Where have all the spooks gone?

October 15 - blogging for poverty

There’s a lot of financial uncertainty these days, but the reality is that even though we feel poorer, most of will never experience true poverty. We may not always get or have what we want but we are blessed with the necessities.  If you want to calm your fears about financial matters, try gaining perspective by giving to those who have much less. Unfortunately, poverty is not just limited to developing nations - you don't have to go much further than your own backdoor to find someone in need.  Today,  I am concentrating on ways of helping the poor in the U.S. to rise out of their poverty with dignity.  Every time I travel, I am struck by the sheer number of homeless people on the streets. And the numbers are climbing.   We find them in cities, in suburbs, under bridges, in parks, and on vacant industrial property. They live in tents, plywood and tarp contraptions that defy definition. Some of the homeless do work. Some have substance-abuse problems. Some suffer from forms of mental illness. Every one of them wants something the rest of us want as well:  love and understanding.

I was exiting the highway on an off ramp when I saw him. Disheveled and limping, he plopped a backpack on the median at the intersection, opened a zipper, and pulled out a sign.

As I drew closer, he unfolded the cardboard and I could read it:

"Why lie?" the sign read. "I want beer."

I was struck by the honesty of the sign . . . and touched by the reality of this man's plight.

For some, the homeless offer an opportunity for charity and for self-reflection.   Each person living on the streets has a unique story of why they are homeless.

• Some are illegal immigrants.
• Some are veterans.
• Some are people who found out a low-paying job doesn’t come close to paying for rent, electricity, food, and medicine.

Low wages is a problem

• With a tent and $20, a homeless man can have shelter and food for the day, without the hassle of checking into a shelter, meeting its regulations about substance abuse and having to deal with a curfew. Either way, he will be no closer to finding a job, a car, an apartment or health insurance.

• If he worked 40 hours a week at a minimum wage of $5.15 per hour, he would make $824 a month. The cheapest apartments in our area run about $550 a month, plus $75 for electricity. That leaves $199 to cover everything else. If his job is not within walking distance but is on the bus route, he would spend $4 per day commuting -- that’s another $80 a month. That leaves roughly $4 per day for food and any other necessities.

Inability to work is a problem

• Unable to work because of physical disabilities.
• Unable to work because of mental illnesses.
• Unable to work because of lacking people skills.
• Unable to work because of a severe lack of coping skills.

Most government programs and some homeless charities fail to address all the needs of the homeless. Most areas offer shelters and soup kitchens for the homeless, but these facilities are in fixed locations, so they serve limited populations.

Wikipedia defines Poverty as: The deprivation of common necessities that determine the quality of life, including food, clothing, shelter and safe drinking water, and may also include the deprivation of opportunities to learn, to obtain better employment to escape poverty, and/or to enjoy the respect of fellow citizens.

If we are to look at this definition of poverty, we can work to re-write the outcomes by not only providing the basics of food and shelter to those in need but we can provide skills, education, job training, health care, counseling.  If we were to spend more time and money up front, we could put a stop to the cycle of poverty and homelessness by helping people stand on their own and be responsible for their own well being rather than relying on others.  Clearly adding a "sense of self and self-worth".  We also need to make sure we have mental health coverage for those in need so they may pay for proper care and shelter.

As our economy continues to sour, we don't just need temporary housing and temporary solutions for our citizens, we need intensive programs that cover whatever a person might need in order to stay in permanent, supportive housing.   

For some, the homeless offer an opportunity for charity and for self-reflection.  Well meaning people can help the homeless by:

• Many people around here carry small bags of toiletries and non-perishable food, giving these necessities to the homeless they see at street corners.
• Others give them Bibles, blankets, or tarps.
• Some give them a kind word.
• Many "adopt" families during the holiday season to help with food and warm clothing
• There are groups like Superheroes Anonymous' ….(what a great story) and many other worth while organizations who help on a temporary basis to make a HUGE difference in the lives of many and they need to be applauded! or

Sadly, the faces of Poverty in America come in a variety of forms.  In addition to the homeless, today, there are many hard-working citizens and elderly who are one bad break from being out on the streets.

Why not reach out to your neighbor and ask them how you can help, take them an unexpected meal, offer to babysit or help with home improvements.  Sometimes, just the offer, knowing that someone cares means more than you will ever realize.

Even our children are learning the value of helping others, check out the wonderful things they have done one Club Penguin - Kids Helping Kids ... let's continue to support this type of activity  - let your kids know how much their efforts, no matter how small (pulling weeds for an elderly neighbor - things they may not have the extra funding for), are appreciated.

      WHAT CAN YOU DO TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN YOUR COMMUNITY?

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While it is probably true that that Shattered Reality would not have existed had the author’s daughter not been the subject of such an appalling crime, it is irrefutable that we are all much richer for it. Moreover, while readers may find the narrative alarming it is at the same time very helpful.

Child sexual abuse is a form of child abuse in which a child is abused for the sexual gratification of an adult or older adolescent. After being sexually abused, the unfortunate victim may suffer and experience a multitude of consequences resulting of this hideous act such as depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, tendency to re-victimization in adulthood, and countless more.

What I found mind boggling, when I did a little research, was that according to recent statistics it is estimated that 20% to 25% of women and 5% to 15% of men were sexually abused when they were children. And these are the ones we know about or have been reported.

Most disturbing, and as frequently demonstrated, most of these sexual offenders are generally familiar with their prey and there is a wide array of perpetrators from neighbours, babysitters, family friends, to relatives as fathers, grandparents, uncles, cousins, etc. Another painful facet of this repugnant crime is that men perpetrate most child molestation although this is not to say that women do not commit abuse against young boys, however, percentage wise, there exists a considerable gap between the two sexes. Many of these devious criminals are everyday individuals who are difficult to recognize, as they are often very intelligent and cunning.

All of this brings us to Kimberly Cheryl’s Shattered Reality that recounts the story of how her thirteen-year old daughter Tivona was the victim of sexual molestation committed by her seventy-seven year old grand-uncle. And what is most shocking and repulsive is that the crime had been continuously committed over a period of three years since Tivona was ten years old. Appalling is the fact that the perpetrator succeeded in “grooming” his grand-niece to believe that it was their little secret and if she did tell anyone, no one would believe her. Furthermore, her parents wouldn’t love her and her family would fall apart because of her

We also discover that this apparently “nice and respected uncle” had a history of molesting children as far back as fifty years when he was twenty-four-a family secret that was kept under wraps and swept under the rug.

There is nothing worse than having to sit beside a child in pain and being unable to do little to help. Moreover, apart from the physical and psychological damage that is suffered, we also have, as pointed out in Shattered Reality, the inadequacies of our justice system that moves at a very slow pace, and furthermore it is a crime that no one is too eager to discuss. As the author states, “our justice system is failing us all. The system has a habit of dumping rape and child molestation cases.” Did you know that a very high percentage of rapists and child molesters walk the streets free while their victims have little choice than to pursue the perpetrators within the civil law system asking for compensation based on damages?

Offering interesting and informative insights, Shattered Reality is a practical guide and introduction into a crime that is a reminder of another repugnant peril at our doorstep that must be openly addressed. Kimberly Cheryl has a good grasp of the complexities of this subject and I fully concur with her that with low conviction rates, there is hardly any deterrence to stop this hideous crime. Consequently, it is crucial that we talk about it in order to protect our children and we must as much as possible educate ourselves as well as our children.

To help us, Shattered Reality includes a very helpful chapter that outlines the importance of early education and intervention. The book also includes a child sexual abuse fact sheet for parents, teachers, and other caregivers that have been developed by the National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN). The fact sheet discusses child sexual abuse myths and facts, what can you do if your child discloses that she has been sexually abused, what is child sexual abuse and who is sexually abused and why don’t children tell about sexual abuse. In addition, there is an extensive list of resources that are listed with their online addresses. (review by Norm Goldman at Bookpleasures.com

Please help me spread the word of this incredible "silent epidemic" - we need to change our way of thinking and educate our children...not against strangers but against ANY ONE who does innapropriate things to them.  The consequences are life long.  I hope in some small way, our ordeal can help others. Thank you

Click HERE to buy your copy

It is hot and getting hotter. The heat index is listed at 109 and supposed to be 115 later this afternoon. (okay so it's only ACTUALLY 94 degrees)...

 

One week left and school is starting...lucky we have air conditioning there....but on days like today it's just plain hard to stay "cool". These are the days that you might actually be "thankful" to be "stuck" inside at the office! :) But, running around from store to store, gathering school supplies and a few new outfits, I just couldn't seem to cool down and spent the morning with my sweaty clothes sticking to me...miserable! (and please don't forget your pets out there in the heat... by baby doesn't even want to go out for a second to potty....) The pools are busy today but even the water is warm on days like these.

Last week - I was reading an interesting Associated Press Article on how the Japanese are staying cool in Hot Summer Weather:

Eel drink for Japan's hot summer

TOKYO (AP) -- It's the hottest season of the year in Japan, and that means it's eel season. So, bottom's up!

A canned drink called "Unagi Nobori," or "Surging Eel," made by Japan Tobacco Inc., hit the nation's stores this month just ahead of Japan's annual eel-eating season, company spokesman Kazunori Hayashi said Monday.

"It's mainly for men who are exhausted by the summer's heat," Hayashi said of the beverage, believed to be the first mass-produced eel drink in Japan.

Many Japanese believe eating eel boosts stamina in hot weather.

The fizzy, yellow-colored drink contains extracts from the head and bones of eel and five vitamins - A, B1, B2, D and E - contained in the fish.

The Japanese particularly like to eat eel on traditional eel days, which fall on July 24 and Aug. 5 this year.

HHHmmm - I'm not sure about that one but....How do you stay cool these days? What are fun activities to do with the kids these last few weeks before school begins again (in this heat)? Any suggestions for fun in the sun?

Be smart and SAFE out there in the heat! Happy Monday....

Recently, I've complained a lot about my health.  I've been diagnosed with a liver disease that gives me a "life expectancy" of about 10 years.  I'm not one who likes limits or people telling me what I will or will not / can or can not do.  I will show them!  Or, in 10 years, who knows - that's a long time to come up with some new "cure".  Or maybe, for no reason, my body will decide it likes itself again and the disease progression will slow down.  There are never any guarantees...maybe tomorrow I'm be "hit by a bus"....I guess that's one reason I never try to waste any of the time I'm blessed with here on Earth.

In the grand scheme of things, 10 years really is a long time for "anything" to happen.  Last night, I watched the Bucket List for the first time...I cried all the way through and loved the life lesson all the same. 

At the beginning of June, one of my best childhood friends was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  It's a melanoma that's spread and is in the lungs and brain.  She is doing experimental treatment right now and finishes today.  The exciting part of it all?  At the time of diagnosis, they said she wouldn't "make it" to her birthday....well TODAY, I have to say  "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"!   She is an 11 year survivor of ovarian cancer that they said she'd never live through so I'm betting she will conquer this mountain just as she did the last...I'm praying.

My point of all this dreary news on a Friday afternoon when it's time to go party?  What would you do if you were given 30 days to live?  How would you spend it?

Remember to enjoy every minute of your time and have a wonderful and SAFE weekend.

A lot of people are after your cash, and you, quite understandably, would like to hold on to as much of it as you can.  It won't be easy.  Yesterday, I blogged on the Reeves family who fell for an elaborate rental scam listed on Craigslist.

This family like many others are "tricked" out of their funds by dubious scam artists.  But what about those scams that aren't quite so "obvious"?  What about those "so-called" bargains that don't "pay off"?

1.  Payday Loans - With gas prices rising & grocery bills doubling, I see more and more TV ads for Payday Loans or "title loans". According to the Center for Responsible Lending, payday lenders rake in $4.2 billion a year by charging a whopping 391 to 500 % in interest. For many people these loans become like financial quicksand.  For example, a CRL study reports that these loans turn the average borrower's debt from $325 to a $793 repayment.

· Advice: If you're in a pinch, opt for a cash advance on your credit card (at 28% plus transaction fees) or if you belong to a credit union, you can usually get up to 18% interest on small unsecured loans.  Definitely better than the alternative above.

2. Rent-to-Own Merchandise:  The $6.8 billion rent-to-own industry offers TVs, computers, appliances, jewelry, and furniture for "low, easy payments" with no money down.  But many of the three million people who shop in chain stores like Rent-A-Center end up buying over time - and paying exorbitant rates.  I remember renting a large TV for a Super Bowl Party.  The LG flat-screen TV that retails for $1300 can be rented for about $36/week.  After 142 weeks, you own the TV. That means you've just paid $5,100 for the TV. 

· Advice: Spending $36 to rent a big-screen for a Super Bowl party might be a great deal. But over the long term these rental fees are exorbitant and if you miss a payment, the item will be reposed immediately, with the loss of all your money.

3. Extended Warranties - Now here is something my father hates! And for most things in today's society where technology is "outdated" as soon as you walk out the door and items can be replaced cheaper than they can be fixed, I agree.  The only time we've had one of these warranties work is on the purchase of a projection TV.  The cost of one replacement bulb within the TV was more than the warranty cost - it was worth the investment.  But, even when they are legitimate, "extended warranties are usually always a sucker's bet" says Tod Marks, a senior editor at Consumer Reports. You're gambling that your new product will malfunction. 

· Advice: Bank the money you would have spent on the warranty and save it. Not everything you own is going to "fall apart" at the same time.

· Scams to look out for:  I don't know about you but recently, on my husbands SUV, we have received several urgent-sounding notifications claiming that the manufacturer's warranty is about to expire.  These are often phony notices trying to get money from us.  Yet, they come from firms with the words dealer and warranty on them and the create a very official illusion to take my cash while my warranty is still in effect - BEWARE.

4. Medical Insurance Clubs - When we opened our own business, we had to seek out medical insurance.  Since I had been in the medical industry for 18 years and had worked with HMO contracting, I was used to having "good" insurance coverage.  We invited several sales people over to the house to give us their product "pitch". One afternoon, we had a very nice, young gentleman come over.  He was enthusiastic about his services and made it all sound fantastic.  Dental discounts, drug discounts, and for the group membership fees: tons of discounts for fun things like travel, etc.  It sounded fantastic and wasn't too expensive.  That should have been our first "Red Flag".  As I had done with everyone else, I asked him to leave his information.  I began to thoroughly read everything and compare it to the services of Anthem BC/BS.  This service was just what they said:  A Club.  It tried to negotiate "discounted fees" on my behalf with physicians and hospitals. It gave me a % off of my drug costs.  Most of these things, I could have done on my own without their monthly fees and membership dues.

· Advice: Beware of discount clubs - they are growing in the medical arena as people are looking for a variety of ways to control their health care costs. Remember, if you don't have insurance or go to a doctor or hospital that isn't covered in your network: they will negotiate a "pay off" and payments with you.  As a cash paying patient, even with the lower negotiated price, they will be getting paid more than they do from the insurance companies. There are also a number of discount drug cards available for free - it just takes the time to find them and fill out the appropriate forms.  Don't waste money on dues.

5. Travel Clubs:  Consumers have filed thousands of complaints about travel clubs with the Better Business Bureau in the past 3 years.  These clubs promise "insider deals" but with a little effort and "Google", individuals can often get better prices on their own.

RED FLAGS TO WATCH FOR:

· Claims that you've won a "free" prize, or a fee to collect your "winnings" - for a contest you never entered.

· Companies that offer freebies to entice you into attending a high-pressure sales presentation.

· Sales people who pressure you into signing an immediate commitment or into signing a contract you haven't read

· Companies that won't put their prices or promises into writing

· Firms that do not provide contact information or that only provide e-mail addresses or P.O.Boxes.

IF YOU HAVE A COMPLAINT:

· Send your complaint to the company in writing - if you have used a credit card, you can dispute the charges through them (I recently had to do this against Best Buy and with the help of a wonderful agent at Chase, Best Buy finally helped me with my refund).  If it's a local business, consider small claims court.

· Go to your State's Attorney General (www.naag.org)

· Check out the Federal Trade Commission (www.ftc.gov) for information on common rip-offs and scams

                 · Check the Better Business Bureau                       (www.bbb.org)       for consumer complaints and issue your own online complaint.

(as I am writing this I also received an email from Bank America Online regarding my Account Access - looks real..has all kinds of important looking marks and security information AND they want my personal information...SORRY - don't bank at Bank America...another wonderful scam example - don't update these things online or through emails - CALL and verify first!)

Your turn to "sound off" - any other scams you can think of? Stories of being "had"?

Without warning, my week began as a Fall Asleep On The Couch Ridiculously Early Monday which unexpectedly turned into a Pukey Migraine From Hell night. The next thing I knew it was the afternoon of Brutal Painkiller Hangover Tuesday which then predictably lead to Catch Up On My Whole Life Wednesday. But, amid my Running Errands All Over The City afternoon, I had to stop and share a story of safety and scam artists who prey on the “unsuspecting”. (and I wonder why I get head aches?) With the rising costs of fuel and food and the cut backs in jobs and benefits, why should individuals trying to do their best by their family have to deal with criminals like these? I hope they catch those involved, I pray for more people like the real home owner and I warn others to double check anything – emails, get rich quick schemes, ads online, those offering too good to be true refinancing offers, etc.

Here’s the story:

The Reeves family consists of nine members and they lost their savings after falling for an elaborate rental scam listed on Craigslist.

The Reeves family was new to the Arizona Valley area and they thought they had found the perfect home to rent, listed in Craigslist.
Matthew Reeves and his wife met a man and his wife, Jim and Jaime Williams, that they thought were the owners of the house, painters were painting, but other work needed to be done to make the house ready for occupants. They made arrangements to do the carpets, maintenance and get the locks changed in return for a discount on their deposit. They signed the lease and got their receipt for $1,500.
Then they went home to celebrate.
The next day they went and started cleaning the home and then on Saturday, they started the move but when they got there Pam Dambley, the actual owner of the house was there.
She recounts her conversation with the Reeves':

“I said, ‘Excuse me, you live here?’ And he says, ‘We just rented it,’ and I said, ‘From who?’

Matthew Reeves says he and his wife just cried.

The $1,500 they had given to the fake owners was all they had.

The Dambley's, showing compassion that not many would, felt for the Reeves family and allowed them stay and gave them August for free since they had lost all their money. The Reeves refer to her as their angel.
Peoria Arizona police are asking for the public's help in looking for the scam artists responsible. They are described as "a short heavyset woman and a man with crooked teeth and a heart tattooed on one hand. They were last seen driving a white Chevy Blazer."

The advice the police give to people looking to buy or rent a home is to check with the County Assessors Office to see who the actual homeowner is.
You can also go to companies like www.Titlesearches.com or other companies that provide the same type of service, and do a title search, it cost a relatively low amount of money, but they provide information about the current owner, the mortgage, tax information about how much taxes are paid for the home in question, and they also provide a copy of the warranty deed.

Scams like the one the Reeves' family became victims of was a rental scam, but title searches are just as important for those buying a home because one doesn't wish to invest their savings into a home that is about to go into foreclosure just to have the owners leave town with your money.

The weekend is finally upon us and we are all waiting for the clock on the wall to slowly make it's way to 5pm so we can make a "mad rush" for the door and escape for a few short days of - well, whatever helps you relax.

I really do believe that stress has a huge effect on us - even when we say we "can handle it". When I'm overly stressed, I get more stomach aches, more migraines, I'm more worn out. (oh and my kids will tell you I have a very SHORT temper). For others who "burn both ends of the candle", it means high blood pressure, heart disease, ulcers and strokes. Some turn to smoking, alcohol and drugs - all of which have their own side effects and issues.

This is a very stressful time we are living in. High gas prices, lower wages, lost jobs, expensive medical care and home foreclosures which sadly are leading people to kill themselves over the thought of the impending problems with no foreseeable solutions.

Since I work out of my house, there are times I have it easier to "just walk away" for a few minutes to relax and regroup. I don't wait for the weekend. On the other hand, it is with me ALWAYS and like last night I'm up until 2 am doing work related items.

I guess as the weekend approaches, my question to you is, what do you do or where do you go when you are "frazzled"? Is this something you can do throughout the day or week so you don't have to wait until the weekend and "everything that's been bottled up blows"?

I read yesterday about a new place that you can go and have a pedicure with your feet in a pond of carp. Not quite my idea of relaxing, could do that in the creek on our farm but I do go on our deck and listen to the water fountain my husband built. The soothing trickle of the water triggers memories of the days I spent at home with my parents and sisters (we had a waterfall off of our deck there). What wonderful carefree time. Then there are times I wonder off to the corner of the yard to our forgotten sand box that the kids have outgrown and sit by myself and build a sandcastle. It makes me feel like a kid again but it also conjures up images of vacations on the beach, relaxing, reading a book, watching the kids run and play and giggle. Just a moment to "regroup" and collect myself and my inner peace.

So what is it you do in these crazy times that helps you regroup? (Would love some new ideas. Although there are days I would love a nice, quiet, little, padded room, it is cheaper than a trip to the psychiatrist that's for sure! :)

As the news wires churn out stories, I can't seem to find too many that are positive about our fellow citizens.  One day follows another with one tragedy after another.  Today?  As two 15 year old girls walk home from a friend's house on a cool summer night, they are approached by two thugs looking for easy money. 

A gun is drawn and threats are made.  In fear and reluctance the girls clutch their purses, one runs the other is shot in the chest.  I am still sitting her shaking my head in disbelief.  Disbelief that a gunman would go to the extremes of taking a life for a purse that may have nothing more in it than a young girl's cell phone and make up.  (How much money do you think a 15 year old with out a job carries around with them? Well, okay - mine has more money than I do but still...that's just because she's sucking up all my funds as her "allowance" and saving it while I continue to pay for everything else :)

The other sad part of this equation is that the young girl felt her purse was worth her life.  Maybe it's the coolest purse she owned, maybe it had a lot of hard earned babysitting money in it, maybe.....
Was it worth a bullet? What would you have done if faced in this situation?

In our seminars, the one thing we say is .... give it up - no matter what it is. It's an object, a possession, something that can be replaced (unlike a young life).  Another quick tip is Do you know what's in your wallet should it be stolen?  If you don't make sure you go through it right now and make a copy (front and back) of all the items you have so if you should find yourself in a similar situation or should lose your wallet in a variety of other ways - you can call and cancel all of your credit cards immediately and notify all pertinent entities that need to be notified.

Again, what would you have done? And our prayers go out to a speedy recovery for the little girl and her family.

Okay, it's a Monday morning - WE ALL hate Monday mornings...it means schedules, work, whatever...commitments.  Second, here in the Midwest it has gone from flooding to dry, humid and over 100 degrees (at least constant 90s) - agreed, it's miserable (and my son says if he dies at baseball camp today it's all my fault).  Third, it's been a full moon for a week (and I do believe in its affects on people).  Finally, we are in a spiralling downward economy - depressive for us all for our own reasons.  Yep - not a fun summer if I say so myself and I LOVE Summer!

But what is this world coming to? Sure, we have tons of excuses for not being happy right now. Sure, some of us are worse off than others (hey - I have a HUGE sob story to tell) BUT when and WHY is it okay to take our frustration out on so many innocent people?

My husband had spent more than 2 months in the University Hospital here and one day the heli-vac team came flying in.  They brought a wounded EMT worker to the room next to him.  This man was doing his job - he went to work to help US - the public whom he doesn't know anything about.  He ended his day in the hospital with gun shot wounds because he received an emergency call to help someone who had been shot (apparently, the opposing party / or shooter didn't care for the help the victim was getting).  He was just doing his job....

Now, Today, a 22 year old fireman (10 months on the force - born to be a fireman they said) gets up goes to work on a blazing car fire.  His job - to put out the fire for someone in need - someone he doesn't know, someone who has requested his help.  He does this NOT for the pay let me assure you (we don't pay any of these people well enough for the danger they place their lives in)!  He does this because he DESIRES to be a public servant and HELP US! Wish there were more like him...someone willing to put his life on the line for me - a person he doesn't know (just like our military, police, EMTs).  Except TODAY this young man ISN'T going home...he doesn't even get the chance to make it to the hospital for a recovery stay. He is shot and his family has lost a son, a brother, a friend....FOR WHAT?

Unfortunately, it's not just him who is hurt - 2 of our police officers "go down" in this brutal, needless attack as well. 

Last week, I spent my week with my company, Executive Defense, educating over 250 people at local corporations on personal safety and anti-victimization.  The sad part about today is that no matter how "prepared" you are, no matter who you are or your "size" when you are "ambushed" there is really no way to protect yourself.....

So, I guess on this sad, warm, Midwestern afternoon I ask 3 questions:  1.  Do we need to now arm ALL Emergency workers so they are prepared for an attack (even when they are just going to put out a fire or help someone in need?) 2. Do these public servants ALL need to start wearing bullet proof vests? 3. If you are mad, upset, suicidal - shoot YOURSELF, someone will miss you - why do you feel the need to take so many innocent lives with you?

Our prayers go out to all those involved....

As I  continue my rant against the pharmaceutical industry and their lack of concern for patients or drug safety (as they now question the safety of the HPV vaccine they so heavily pushed last year), I am amazed at how WE the consumers are to blame for some of this problem.  We look at our medical care, not as a "right" like police and fire protection but as a consumer product.  We WANT a drug to "fix" all of "life's" ills, we WANT to live forever.

 WE as consumers want something in a Pill to cure us…well, here is a "mommy" who is now marketing and selling placebo pills - as of June 1, 2008.  I think this is absolutely AWFUL!   We are just continuing to promote a concept that is unhealthy and unnatural and we're teaching our kids to be reliant on medications for whatever is wrong with them.  Until we change our attitude as a society, we will continue to be victims of the pharmaceutical industry because we allow it and perpetuate it.

Placebos pushed for parents

The latest trend in the US is placebo pills (read that as cherry flavored chewable tablets) marketed to parents for treating their children when real medicine isn't appropriate and a hug and a kiss are not enough.

Launched earlier this month under the brand name of Obecalp, the placebos are sold by a company 'Efficacy Brands' link started by a mother of three young children who has banded herself about the US media in a bid to publicize her 'inspiration'.

At just under $6.00 a pop, Obecalp (placebo spelt backwards for those of you who hadn't already guessed) contains no drugs and is claimed to be the first standardized placebo.

But some doctors are questioning the ethics of parents giving their children placebos. Writing in the BMJ this week (link), Dr Douglas Kamerow says it reinforces the "pill for every ill" message and may undermine a child's trust in their parents if they discover they are being treated with dummy pills.

"A placebo pill for children seems like a deeply bad idea, however well intentioned. Children don't need a sugar pill, and they certainly don't need to be deceived into thinking that it's the pill's magic, and not Mum's or Dad's, that helped them feel better," he says.

 I believe in the "placebo" effect and saw it in many studies (espcially those with patients & psych meds) but to give it to our kids because a hug & a kiss "just won't do"? 

I don't wish someone trying to be in business "ill will" - this just isn't the right idea or what we want promoted to children OR parents!  This is one idea I hope does not catch on….

what are your thoughts / feedback?

First - wanted to say those in the flood plains are in our prayers - wish we could do more than that to help!

Second - have missed visiting here but have been traveling and advocating for health care for ALL in the US with a special emphasis on the need for Mental Health coverage.  In addition have been "living" at SLU. My husband had surgery which led to infection (End of April) and ended up in ICU - finally coming home yesterday! At $49,000 a day, was thinking about just asking them to keep him until he could "work the bill off" but...:) kids wanted dad home - 7 weeks out of their life was a long time.  Can not tell you how thankful we are for the wonderful staff on the 6th floor at SLU - incredible! Missing them the last couple days as we've had to do his IV therapy on our own every 6 hours (want Emily back for that 4 am dose!) Anyway - moving in the right direction so maybe life will return and we can move forward and I can visit and read all your wonderful pieces / information / discussions again....

Am very excited to say that my book: Escape from the Pharma Drug Cartel (amazon.com) caught the attention of a well known medical journalist and a small portion of my story has been on Australian TV and now in the British Medical Journal (BMJ) - a ray of sunshine in our chaos - My best to everyone in the "community" -

Within a Country suffering from a job security crisis, raising gas prices, and increased foreclosures, the last thing U.S. Citizens want to worry about is their health insurance.  Unfortunately, over 44 million are uninsured in the US and with increased job losses, I'm sure those numbers are rising.  (and how many illnesses are aggravated or increased due to stress? Diabetes, heart disease, depression, migraines, Irritable Bowel, etc)

In this country we provide police protection, fire assistance and education but what do all of these things mean if we can not even provide our citizens with the very basics like good, quality, affordable health care?  Remember, our laws only say that  you are entitled to "stabilization" of a life threatening illness - they do not guarantee any further care or follow up.  If you can not pay and are having a heart attack, all the ER has to do is stabilize you, give you pain meds and then can LEGALLY release you with no further care. 

Many of us take our medical coverage for granted until we lose it.  Then what happens? What if we have pre-existing conditions and can't find coverage? Or what about those COBRA or independent fees that are so high they just aren't affordable when we've just lost a job? What happens then? How many more bankruptcies are caused by medical disasters?

Finally, so what if you do have insurance? Do you put "blind faith" in your medical professional and the drugs you are taking? Most people do and even when they don't the information that they "google" from online resources such as WebMD and MedScape are all sponsored by Phamaceutical Corporations so they will only tell you what the companies want you to know.  As an 18 year veteran of the pharmaceutical industry, I will tell you that this truly scares me on many levels and the American Public needs to know how involved the Pharma companies are in the influence of their health care - and much of it is not to their benefit. 

I am not saying drugs are bad things - many are lifesaving indeed! It is just that many older products are just as good as the newer more expensive ones, many are better and some drugs on the market haven't really proven any benefit over that of a placebo sugar pill. 

As we look to change our government this year, we need to look at a change for how we monitor as well as administer our US health care.  We should not be towards the bottom of the list in terms of medical care in this great country.  If we would just restructure some of our system we would be able to find and redistribute wasted funds that could be used to take care of the millions who need medical insurance and care. (Those who forgo treatment and many who die without - many being children)

The following is an article that appeared in TODAY'S British Medical Journal - BMJ a well known and respected magazine about just a "tip of the ice burg" in the large problem that is known at the Pharmaceutical Industry - it was based on some of my current autobiography: ESCAPE FROM THE PHARMA DRUG CARTEL  - I would love to help make a difference in any way that I can! (I know the pain and frustration and being on the verge of bankruptcy from one freak auto accident which cost me my job and my insurance - I can tell the story from both sides of the fence - I am uninsurable due to my Autoimmune Hepatitis and Lupus and my husband has just gotten out of the hospital's ICU after a 28 day stay resulting from an infection following a colon removal from Crone's disease leaving several hundreds of thousands in bills):

 

http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/full/336/7658/1402<
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21 June 2008 (Vol 336, No 7658)

 

BMJ  2008;336 (21 June), doi:10.1136/bmj.a413

Editor's Choice Key opinion leaders, your time is up

Fiona Godlee, editor, BMJ

fgodlee@bmj.com

We’re lucky in medicine to have an unending supply of mysteries to ponder. Some of these—like why vitamin A supplementation benefits some children while harming others—are amenable to scientific research (doi: 10.1136/bmj.39575.486609.80;doi: 10.1136/bmj.39542.509444.AE). But there are mysteries of a different sort, ones that are in our power as a profession to resolve. Why, for example, is it considered normal for medical leaders to accept personal payment for promoting a company’s drug or device?

This week Ray Moynihan asks whether paid "key opinion leaders" can be independent or are just drug representatives in disguise (doi: 10.1136/bmj.39575.675787.651). His interview with former sales representative Kimberly Elliott suggests the latter. We know from independent studies that paid opinion leaders can increase use of a target drug or device. Even if we didn’t know this, we would have to assume it from industry’s continued funding of "KOLs." Speakers who don’t make enough impact on drug sales are dropped, says Elliott.

Perhaps most troubling is the way industry grooms potential opinion leaders. Quoting from the magazine Pharmaceutical Marketing, Moynihan says that industry staff are told to find doctors who will endorse their products "who may be further down the influence ladder," and then help "raise their profile, and so develop them into opinion leaders."

Of course industry is doing nothing illegal, and it employs many fine people motivated more by improving health care than making a profit. In this week’s Head to Head, Charlie Buckwell argues that industry has an ethical obligation to work with influential health professionals so that each side understands the other’s thinking (doi: 10.1136/bmj.39541.702870.59). The fact that these interactions can affect clinical practice is not necessarily bad, he says, since this can help doctors appreciate the benefits of some drugs.

But is this the best way to inform doctors? What of evidence based medicine, which asks us to use information that has been gathered systematically and evaluated objectively? Moynihan also spoke to Richard Tiner of the Association of the British Pharmaceutical Industry, who said that key opinion leaders are "free to speak about other medicines" and their presentations are "often quite balanced." Surely doctors should be setting their sights higher than this?

Buckwell argues for tighter rules and role definitions, and there are signs that things are improving. It’s now rare in the best forums that speakers fail to start with a slide declaring their conflicts of interest. But how often do these declarations tell the full story? Have you ever heard speakers say that they were paid an honorarium and travel expenses and that the sponsor prepared their slides?

Such transparency is crucial if we are to understand the full extent of the influences we are under. But can we look ahead to something even better, to an era of truly independent medical leadership? Giovanni Fava thinks we can and should (doi: 10.1136/bmj.39541.731493.59). He envisages "a reservoir of truly independent experts" and calls for an end to "business disguised as science." Medicine sorely needs leaders, but not if a they’ve been bought.

YOUR OPINIONS?

hey bloggers - a reminder that our wonderful safety education program talking to teens ages 13 - 20 (and parents) on safe dating choices, drinking and driving, self defense, safe surfing for the computers....just in time to celebrate April's Sexual Assault Awareness Month....

Evening to begin with a fashion show put on by local teen girls at 6pm (dresses donated by David's Bridal and sandwiches by Psghettis), followed by the speaker programs - open house style - until 9pm....all this fun and education for $15 / person and the proceeds will be helping Backstoppers!

Come one, come all - boys, girls, parents - we are looking forward to a successful turn out and an opportunity to educate a lot of teens...

South County YMCA by St Anthony's Hospital....Thank you to all for their support!

Have a SAFE and wonderful weekend!

Organizers were trying to get enough votes on a petition to add a change to Missouri's drinking age to the November Ballot. They will be falling short of their 100,000 needed by May for this November's ballot so they are setting their sites on 2010. The following is a report in USA Today on Missouri's efforts:

By Judy Keen, USA TODAY

Debate over lowering the drinking age is heating up in several states, fueled in part by legislators who contend that men and women who are old enough to fight in Iraq and Afghanistan are responsible enough to buy alcohol legally.

Legislation introduced in Kentucky, Wisconsin and South Carolina would lower the drinking age for military personnel only. A planned ballot initiative in Missouri would apply to everyone 18 and older. An initiative in the works in South Dakota would allow all 19- and 20-year-olds to buy low-alcohol beer.

Vermont’s legislature is considering a task force to study the issue. A Minnesota bill would allow anyone 18 and older to buy alcohol in bars or restaurants, but not in liquor stores until they’re 21.

Then today, I read a sad story about a 15 year old who is now in the ER at Children's Hospital because she had a blood alcohol level of .389 - five times the legal limit. She is lucky to be alive.
I remember when I was 18, Illinois and Florida both had 18 as their drinking age (just remember this because it made for a fun spring break)...did it make any difference? Honestly have to admit i started drinking at the age 0f 14 - never stopped or slowed us down. But, today, I don't drink...actually drank less AFTER 21 and yes, I paid a couple tickets for my choice.
So, would the change in drinking age have made any difference for this 15 year old now struggling for her life? Or was it just an immature choice she chose to make? Would this put more drunk drivers on our roads? Younger drivers are a greater risk on the roads the way it is? Do you really think the age limit slows the number of drinkers down? I'm not sure.

So, what do you think? Should we take a vote and consider lowering the drinking age?

Be SAFE out there....

Finally, dry weather and sunshine! What a beautiful Sunday afternoon I had to take my kids to the ballpark for Kids Opening weekend. I guess when you live in a "baseball town" and have grown up with the same team - many of your fondest memories revolve around those days and I don't my kids to miss out on that.

So, yesterday, we packed up drove out and tried to find a parking spot with a million others dressed in Red. I suppose the thing that caught my attention, though, after a winning ball game and driving home with smiles on our faces and windows open was the group of motorcycles that drove (okay, flew) past us on the highway.

Now, I have to confess, I am not one who pokes along...so here I am doing - let's say 70 to keep me out of a lot of trouble (+ or - 10)...and 3 bikes went whirring past us - they had to have been doing close to 100 with short sleeve shirts and (yep one guy had shorts on) proudly I do have to say that they did have helmets (but JMO but you hit something at that speed - helmet or no - it isn't going to be pretty).

My point, I am not a motorcycle fan. Now my husband would absolutely love a Harley but after spending my college summers working in the X-Ray department in the ER and watching them bring in the guys they had scraped off the pavement - leaves a lasting impression let me tell you!

But, I read a recent article (and sorry can't seem to find it again but was from March 2008) that stated - since the state funding for highways is no longer linked to riders having a helmet, enforcement has dropped tremendously and many states have even let their laws drop (despite this fact: Recent data from Advocates for Highway and Auto Safety cites nearly 75 percent of fatally injured motorcycle riders were not wearing a helmet in states without mandatory helmet laws compared with only 15 percent in states with all-rider helmet laws. What’s more, latest data from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration estimates helmets saved 1,158 motorcyclists’ lives in 2003, and that 640 more could have been saved if all motorcyclists had worn them.)

So what do you think? A drivers choice to wear a helmet or not? Or should the laws be enforced like the seatbelt laws? Would love to hear your opinion...enjoy that sunshine and either way- Be SAFE....