Feb 23, 2008 | 12:25 AM
Category:
Entertainment
Getting Oscar ready ain't easy!!!!!!!!!
For those of us working Oscar Sunday, we get a taste of the Hollywood pie. We get to get all glammed up... our hair did... our bling on. We get primped and pampered... manis, pedis, facials. We fast, we rest, we spin... everything to squeeze into that great new gown. You must of course have a great new gown!!! One friend got hers at a RIDICULOUS discount at the Barney's sale, another borrowed hers from some fashion center, I got mine from a sale rack at my favorite outlet-type store. The key here... you must look FABULOUS!!!... or at least something close to it. The jewelry must dazzle... the shoes must represent... and the purse must matter!
It ain't easy being Oscar ready. Therapists are on stand-by as the reality sinks in. Picture-perfect LA-LA land sets a largely un-achievable standard.(my friend "W" and I have already commiserated about being/feeling old) I aim to look like Angelina... my jewelry worthy of Julia... my skin as smooth as Salma's... my shoes as sexy as Charlize's. Reality is... I'll pull some pumps from my closet. I'll mix my own Murad facial. I've got a cute matching clutch(and pray no one will notice the stones that have fallen off.) Ok... scratch the pity-party. I do have a jeweler loaning me some jewelry. And my dress cost $1300(so says the tag from the outlet-type store.) I've not heard the name of the designer, so I hope I no one asks "what are you wearing?" I'll have to say... "something I got from Loehmann's for $300... with my 20% off coupon."
My day will start at 9:00am with some sort of ab tightening, flabby-arm removing exercise.(my dress is strapless). I've eaten vegetarian much of the week to skinny-down.(except for the In-and-Out Burger on the way back from Wednesday's Child one day) At noon, I'll drive into work and take advantage of the morning make-up artist... (praying my painted face will still be fresh at 9pm!) I'll fly home to get my hair did at 2pm.(a Fox hair person is popping by on her way to work the night shift) I must be dressed and ready to leave the house at 4pm. At 4:30... we walk the red carpet! I'm emceeing one of the big Oscar viewing parties. Children Uniting Nations/Billboard party! For just a night I will walk the red carpet like a SUPERSTAR! I'll pose for pictures(praying there are no close-ups), I'll be on the arm of my man(a musician who, to my surprise, loves ditching his jeans and t-shirt for a suit and tie. I must say he cleans up well!) My push-up bra is sure to make my breasts look ten years younger... 40 is the new 30... and as the emcee I feel the importance of any Oscar nominee... sort of.
By midnight, the vision of Cinderella at the ball will all come crashing down. I'll take a Wet One to the face to remove the MAC make-up. I'll drop the dress to the floor and throw on old comfy sweats. Stilettos will be replaced by slippers. And my up-do will be up in a scrunchy. I'll watch my TIVO to see who was best-dressed. I'll make the bed. I'll read the morning paper. Check in on Good Day L.A. Get ready for the gym and go to work. Ah, the routine of it all! Back to the daily grind.
But for a night... it will be Tinseltown royalty... and right up my ally. My beau, being a musician, will fit right in at the Billboard party. And Children Uniting Nations is a charity that mentors and advocates for foster children. So... on Oscar night I will feel right at home... with my family fighting for the children in L.A. County care.
Whatever you do, where ever you are... enjoy your Sunday. Whether you watch the Oscars or not. I'm sure being at a party with hundreds of people I won't get to watch much at all. Thank God for Tivo... and sweats.. and scrunchies... and chips and salsa. Monday morning isn't looking so bad after all!
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Anyone have any Oscar favorites/predictions? I aim to see as many movies as possible each year and am grossly behind!