Christine_Devine's Blog

Fellow fashionistas...and wannabes like me... take note... THE Barney's sale ends on Monday.   (yes, I know this is  frivolous topic!  Don't hate me!)

Anyway, my girls are gearing up for the major markdowns.  "D" has already been twice.  "J" is going back for round two.  And I may swing by with my guy.

Never been to the Barney's Warehouse sale???  Let me paint a picture.  Day one is a frenzy of fashionistas tearing through racks of expensive clothing ON SALE!   Women will fight you for their favorite shoe.   Men make the rounds looking for the best buy on a business suit.  And voyeurs lurk around secretly sneaking a peak.  There are NO dressing rooms!!!  Unprepared shoppers are left with no choice but to buy without a test drive...or rip off their clothes in an aisle and throw on the Barney's garment.... all the while, praying no one has snapped a cell phone photo of you in your Victoria's Secret finest.    I made the mistake once of showing up un-schooled.  I tried to hide in a rack of clothes and slip on skirt.  Hard to ignore the woman's husband near-by.(I'm sure he was helping her shop... and not looking for a free shot of half-naked women, half-crazed due to the hunt for a Barney's bargain.)   Now, I know what you're thinking.  Barney's and bargain should never go in the same sentence.  Barney's may be THE most expensive department store in L.A.  Perhaps that is why there is only one of them.    Perhaps that is why I've not bought anything there... ever.    My middle-class roots just won't allow me to go there.  The Barney's SALE... that's a different story.  Never miss it!   I went on day one armed with my wallet and dressed for combat.  I recommend you(ladies)  wear a comfy, big skirt, elastic waist.  That's best for pulling on a pair of pants, then dropping your skirt to the floor.  No one sees your Spanks. Fight your way into the front of the mini-mirror and check out your possible purchase.  Wear a tank top and you can easily slip into a shirt without having to expose your La Perla push-up bra.   Drop your skirt to try on a dress.  Got it?    Great!   Wear comfy shoes so you can power shop and so your feet aren't swollen when you get to shoes.  SHOES!!  I love Barney's shoes!    That's really why I go.    My colleague "D" likes to get a classic shoe.  She just bought a BEAUTIFUL Prada black pump.  My theory is that I can find a pretty black pump most anywhere.   It won't say Prada when I pull it off... and I won't have bragging rights.(you know anytime she gets a compliment on the shoe she's going to say "it's Prada!")    I'm fine with a black pump from affordable Nine-West or BCBG bought at Marshall's.   I'm going to Barney's for COUTURE!!!!    Where I grew up we never heard of couture.   I once watched a fashion show with my first L.A. boyfriend and screeched "who wears that stuff."  He shy-ly responded.  "I know girls who do."   This guy shopped at Barney's.  So, buying couture... (at a bargain price)...  is a major coup for me.   I just bought  a pointed platform shoe that I saw in a fashion magazine.  I'm ten feet tall in 'em... and the old me would have found them silly.  The new me has seen them in the magazine.  And when anyone asks... I'll proudly say... "they were in a magazine!!"  My sister would find them silly.  My mother would roll her eyes.  My guy would say I'm too tall.  My wallet will say... nice price.   I do have one disappoint.  I popped back by the Barney's Warehouse sale with "D" and I saw there was still a large selection of my pointed platform shoe-boot.  Apparently they are not flying off the shelf.  I could have gotten ANOTHER 25% off this week.  But who knew.  That's the way the Barney's sale goes.  If you snooze you may lose.   FYI... there were no more black Prada pumps in my size.  "D" scored.   In summation... the final days of the sale mean more markdown.  I once got a suit for $50.   A Barney's suit for FIFTY DOLLARS!   Do know... if I ever get a compliment I will be most excited to say "it's from Barney's!!!"   Do know, my middle class upbringing will chuckle inside knowing I got away with getting something from Barney's for fifty-bucks!